April 9, 2008

E is for Elgin thrown under a train

E is for Elgin thrown under a train
04/09/2008 - National Poetry Month post #9, part of The Unlucky Twenty-Six

Elgin was a hurricane
with vigor one could not contain
who spent his summers out in Maine
and sometimes on the coast of Spain
his mom and dad were quite urbane
and made quite clear their raw disdain
for everything plain or profane
like low-carb beer and cheap chow mein
they liked to read from Thomas Paine
and study old king Charlemagne
but Elgin just saw them as vain
and gave them both a big migraine
and when he started to complain
to listen they would never deign
so he turned sweet as sugar cane
so they would take him on a plane
and go to Sweden to see Jane
and then Rhode Island for Elaine
instead they said he was inane
so he left in the pouring rain
to the old station down the lane
near Marrow Moor, out on the plain
and while he waited for the train
he saw a hobo, quite insane
and found that he could entertain
himself by causing this guy pain
so he began his mean campaign
of doing things quite inhumane
like spilling things to cause a stain
and yanking on the old guy's mane
and draping him with heavy chain
and pulling on them like a rein
while there behind the window pane
the station agent did remain
and never offered to restrain
young Elgin in the pouring rain
until arrival of the train
when Elgin left the guy to drain
the last few drops of his champagne
while Elgin waited for the train
the hobo whacked him on the brain
and Elgin howled out in pain
as he fell with an ankle sprain
onto the tracks and so was slain.

One of my writing goals for 2008 is to write at least one light verse or poem every week in addition to my haiku wednesday and fiction friday posts. I will try to do this on Mondays.


bluesugarpoet said...

oh, you are so clever!

bluesugarpoet said...

[P.S. When I go back to teaching, I am stealing all of your ideas. I love what you are doing for poetry month. I have already written a lesson plan based on your weekly haiku idea.]

PJD said...

Wish I could take credit for the Wednesday haiku idea, but credit for that goes to bone's 3WW. I guess I need to call it out better in the header for my 3WW posts.

But thanks anyway. :-)

bluesugarpoet said...

Yeah, I already knew where you got the 3WW idea - but making a set of three haikus is your spin on that. That's what I want to steal.

JaneyV said...

Is there such a thing as a rhyming dictionary because I can't figure out how you come up with it all! Amazing! I have to say horray for the Hobo - Elgin had it coming! Unlike poor Charlie who I'm still grieving for.

Farrah we'll see ya tamarrah! Yikes!

PJD said...

Jane, I definitely use a rhyming dictionary. The one I have I think I bought in college lo! these 22 years ago. It's called Whitfield's University Rhyming Dictionary and Amazon.com apparently has new & used starting at eight cents a copy. You can also google "rhyming dictionary" for free online rhyming sources, but I have not found them of too much use for anything other than the simplest of rhymes.

I have used this rhyming dictionary as the primary source of inspiration for two of my recent poems, a federal case and the short history of a failed union. For both of those, since I had a bit of writers block those days, I turned to a random page and picked a random rhyme and made a story from that.

Blogless Troll said...

Ha! I didn't feel sorry for this kid. He got what was coming to him.

JaneyV said...

Ooooh! Thanks for the info.

Sarah Laurenson said...


Good one, Pete!

paisley said...

oh this one is a hoot... i just love these.....