coaching myself

My wife would say I watch a lot of soccer on TV. But the first 25 minutes was all I could stomach of last night's Mexico vs Panama game in the Gold Cup.

The game was important for both teams; the loser would be in a bad position for advancing to the knockout stage. In addition, Mexico are under serious pressure to display some quality after poor showings in recent tournaments and falling to 4th in their six-team world cup qualifying group. I sat down with my DVR and high expectations for an interesting and spirited game.

What I saw, though, was more like a couple of preschoolers fighting over toys. Early on, the Mexican captain was booked for impertinence when he needlessly carried the ball away from the site of a foul, then flipped it over the heads of the Panama players. I say kudos to the Ref for showing him the yellow card. The next ten minutes was filled with players from both sides--mostly the Mexicans--whining at the ref and arguing every whistle (and most non-whistles), asking for bookings, and collapsing in indignant heaps of fake agony.

There were a few moments of very good soccer, but they were hard to pick out amid all the preschooler behavior.

And it's the lack of that kind of thing (in general) that I like about the American team. They'll complain about calls occasionally--every player does from time to time--but unless something is truly outrageous, they let it go and focus on playing the game. There's a respect for the game, the honest effort, that kind of behavior shows. The opposite, as demonstrated by Mexico and Panama, illustrates a lack of respect and a selfish petulance that is unbecoming.

I think about things like this a lot because I take my role as a youth coach very seriously. I love the game of soccer--very few games are simpler or more elegant when played well, and it's the ultimate accessible game. You don't need to be 6 foot 10 or 300 pounds to do well. You don't need a 3.4 time in the 40. When I coach kids, I want them to love it, too. But to love something is also to respect it, and to honor it.

I ranted here last year about a game my kids played. The opposing coach taught them to play dirty in order to win. Their dirty play sucked the fun out of the game, which they won. When we beat them in the tournament rematch, it wasn't so much fun as gratifying revenge. We lost the tournament final to a good, well-coached team. That loss was far more fun than our win over the dirty team. I think that's true both as a coach and as a player.

Twelve years ago, I joined an over-30 league after not playing since I was 12. I look back now and realize how frequently I whined about bad refereeing my first few years in the league. I understand the passion of the moment that underlies such bad behavior, but I've overcome that now (for the most part). Coaching helped me see my own behavior on the field and modify it. Even though the kids on my team never watch me play, I still feel I should model the behavior I'm trying to coach.

haiku wednesday - July 8, 2009

This week's words are
gloom
kneel
transparent

Happy 19th wedding anniversary to my wife. No, not apropos to 3WW exactly, but I figured I should say it.

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hypocrites, we kneel
transparent priest prays for us
gloom of man-made church

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your voice lights my gloom
thick walls dissolve, transparent
come, kneel next to me

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kneel before you? ha!
your gloom and doom are all lies
transparent clothes, gone

learning through play

Every parent knows peer pressure.  It overwhelms us, drives us to irrational and often self-destructive behavior.  Like limiting our children to 30 minutes of "screen time" each day.

We have friends (some of whom may be reading this now) who allow their children 30 minutes of screen time a week.  Screen time includes video games, computer games, and even TV.  I believe exemptions are made for computer (homework) and TV (family movies).  Most families we know, including us, allow 30 minutes a day.  We give an hour on weekends.

Most screen time involves Wii FPS games, Wii "Brawl," or Spore on the computer.  But how much is really too much?  My kids have begun making a low-budget movie.  Their equipment is a 6-year-old digital camera with an MPG feature, plus whatever they can turn into costumes and props.  The most successful prop appears to be the garage door, which they film closing when they want to illustrate that the main character has been locked away in a prison camp cell.  They have a plot, but they take turns being the main character and there's not much dialog besides "oh, I've been shot" and such.  This makes the whole thing a little difficult to follow.

BUT today they discovered how to get the files onto the new MacBook and play with them in iMovie.  Ethan is cutting out bits and splicing the segments together.  He already knows how to add background music and sound effects.  Sam, who just turned 10, is actually quite a good cameraman and is learning iMovie and GarageBand, too.

Does this count as "screen time"?  They're creating.  They're learning.  They're developing skills that I think will help them achieve more in the future.  They're honing their ability to think creatively, to identify improvements and try again.  Their work allows us to talk about the craft of storytelling, the craft of moviemaking, even money management.

But they're still huddled over a screen inside during summer vacation for much of the day.

I suppose it's really about balance.  Time spent filming is time outdoors, imagining and playing.  Time not on the computer is time spent reading or playing games.  (The one thing they DON'T do is chores.  Of any kind.  At any time.)  Really it shouldn't be about time in front of the screen.  It should be about time spent in mindless play as opposed to imaginative or active play.

personal writing log

I've been a total slug with writing recently.  OK, only a partial slug.  Work is sucking up all my creative energy.  Still, in June I managed to write ten poems (besides my haiku wednesdays), and some of them were even decent.  That's ahead of my "2 poems a week" goal for 2009.  I hit 1,111 words for Aerin's random complexity challenge.  I even revised one chapter of "Andie's Gold," my MG adventure set in the gold rush.  So I'm on my goals.  But my goals are modest.

Any of you who would like to see my poems, please email me at dudleypj at gmail dot com.  They're posted to a private blog which only Aerin appears to be reading (hi Aerin!  Thanks!).  I'm happy to have more people there; I just don't want them to be considered "published."

Speaking of "published," within the next few weeks a story of mine will appear in the San Francisco Writers Conference anthology.  AND a poem of mine was accepted by a literary journal and is expected to be published I guess towards the end of this year.  It's my second attempt at publishing poetry and first hit.  Doesn't pay much, but I'm thrilled.  I heard the journal's co-editor speak, and I am honored and flattered that she liked my work.

haiku wednesday - July 1, 2009

This week's words are
collapse
sweet
yearn

Another work trip this week. I am sorry I won't get to visit everyone this week due to the travel. Thank-you to all who came by last week and left such kind notes! Also, "Airport Transportation NY" asked for a special haiku addressed to the king of pop, so I'm using one of my three 3WW haiku to do just that. See if you can guess which one. (I have to admit that although I agree he was talented, and I did sorta like some of his songs, I never cared much about MJ when he was popular... and I can't say I was much moved when I heard about his death.)

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my lips yearn for yours
one final taste--I collapse
sweet, sweet Juliette...

---

ponzi schemes collapse
we yearn for greater justice
no sweet ending, this

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fans scream, swoon, collapse
yearn for your sweet moves, smooth voice
moonwalking through life

haiku wednesday - June 24, 2009

This week's words are
fickle
sparkle
wrinkle

Thanks to all who stopped by throughout the week. I did in fact get my luggage the next day... after my big meeting. What a week this has been. Insane busy. This week's words... they seem like three elves that didn't make it into a Christmas claymation special.

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chilly day, hot night
eyes sparkle as sheets wrinkle
fickle as weather

---

wrinkle, crumple, toss
my prose has lost its sparkle
fickle muse, return!

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slow, black swells sparkle
fickle winds wrinkle slack sails
time for a cool change

haiku wednesday - June 17, 2009

This week's words are
arresting
rhythmic
wicked

On the road. Airline (United/US Air) lost my luggage. Early meeting in the morning. #$%@@#$%!!!!

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she's so arresting
wicked touch, rhythmic embrace
undercovers cop

---

water wicked through stem
arresting, rhythmic dripping
unending cycle

---

no rhythmic snoring
in your place, wicked silence
arresting my dreams

haiku wednesday - June 10, 2009

This week's words are
dangerous
keepsake
restless

It's nearly Thursday in London already, and I'm just getting to this now. Egads!

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restless memories
your ex-lover's phone number
dangerous keepsake

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dangerous intent
holding stolen keepsake bones
restless stalker nears

---

restless spirit roams
dangerous, seeking revenge
for lost keepsake heart

my son is a crazy person

What I love about my son's boy scout troop:  They are, by and large, nerds. They are great kids, fun and witty, well intentioned and personable.  After tonight's troop meeting, they were discussing the density of various heavenly bodies.  No, not Angelina Jolie's BMI. Pulsars and Quasars. Red dwarfs and brown dwarfs.

OK, so that's fine.  Maybe they're in the AP test mode, the final exam 

hangover where their mouth becomes the pressure release valve for the extra knowledge they've crammed into their skulls.

When we got home from the meeting, we looked online for some information about pulsars and quasars.  Interesting, really.  It was easy to find basic information.  Then I happened to mention to my son (who is nearly, but not quite, 13 years old, and who nearly, but not quite, is done with 6th grade) that I might have my old college astrophysics textbook lying around.  Why?  Hell if I know.  But we found it, and now, nearly an hour later, he's still got his head buried in it, well past bedtime.  Crazy kid.

This is not your "astronomy for poets" type of book.  This book has over 550 pages, nearly every one of which has something like this on it, frequently more than one:

Yeah, I used to be able to do that kind of thing.  Calculate the surface area of a Gaussian surface.  Solve differential equations.  Figure out why two trains, one leaving Cleveland at 6 a.m. going 100 miles per hour and the other leaving Detroit at 8 a.m. going 80 miles per hour, would end up in a lawsuit involving a cup of McDonald's coffee, a firefighter with three testicles, and a vicious pack of meerkats.  (Yes, I went to UC Berkeley.)

Anyway, my point is that... what kind of 12 year old buries himself in a book like this?  Nutty kid.

Another Jason Evans Contest Coming!

Jason Evans at the Clarity of Night blog is going to run another of his outstanding, famous contests beginning July 8th. A very nice guy, terrific writer, and sublime poet, Jason has pulled together a community of writers that is truly astonishing.

Even though the contest opens July 8th, he's giving us a sneak preview of the photo prompt. His past contests have essentially been flash fiction in 250 words, inspired by a photo he's taken. I hope all you writers (and people who might consider writing some time) jump into this with an entry of your own. Fair warning: The last contest garnered over 120 entries, and you will find that you get lost in reading them. Most are very good; some are truly outstanding.

And I'm not just saying that because I won the last contest.

Listen to the author... if you DARE

Robin has once again coerced us all, via her superb and unyielding charm, to post our own voices reading our own work. Below is an audio only rendition of a poem I wrote a while back called "Cold and Bitter." I blogged the text of it before, but Julaina convinced me to change the last line. I'm glad she did.

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haiku wednesday - June 3, 2009

This week's words are
folly
hostile
ordinary

Here it is again, a whole week gone by without any post but 3WW. I may not make the rounds this week until the weekend, if at all. Fair warning--if you are expecting reciprocal comments, then feel free to click away now and ignore me this week. Besides, how good can these be if they were written in a total of fourteen minutes (including title, tag, and intro paragraph)?

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ordinary charm
can't overcome your folly
THAT's why I'm hostile

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hostile reviewer
pans book as ordinary
folly to read it

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folly to resist
no ordinary girl, she
beware hostile claws