how small minded can you be?

A fellow blogger I greatly admire and also now greatly fear, Ello, posted a most excellent rant about the bad sportsmanship a soccer mom showed at a game recently. Many readers commented on the dilution of competitiveness in kids' sports these days and how it's dragging society down into the depths of mediocrity.

I say fie, mediocrity is not being created on the soccer pitch in the under-10 leagues. It's not even being created by the "everybody gets a trophy" attitude for nine year olds. Sports can teach our kids so much, if done the right way, but what lessons, and at what ages?

My coaching has been in recreational leagues, which fits my style. Both the Under-9 boys and the Over-30 mens team I've coached have ended up the same--mediocre win/loss records. But I always had nearly full attendance and at the end of the year everyone always commented how much fun it had been. I also played on and saw teams with much better win percentages where, by the end of the season, attendance had dwindled and players grumbled. As a coach of recreational teams, I believe that if you pay your money and you show up, you get equal playing time, outcome of the game be damned.

And here's my rant: The under-10 boys league I coach in has a very strict policy that the league determines rosters and that coaches and parents are not allowed to specify what teams or players they want. Pretty much every communication from the league emphasizes this, and it's clearly emblazoned in the registration materials.

But last year in the U-9s, one dad created a new team out of our elementary school and literally handed his roster to the league. With two exceptions, he got an entire roster of the biggest, fastest, strongest, most skilled players. His roster was loaded. Another coach was livid and complained a blue streak to no avail. I just rolled my eyes, took the kids I was given, and resolved to give them the best coaching I could while ensuring they had fun all year, win or lose.

Um, we lost. Mostly. A lot. In the end, all the kids got medals for coming in fourth in the bottom division tournament (that means they came in 10th out of 12). A reward for mediocrity? Not in my view. It's a keepsake for a year full of fun. At the end of the year, one of the least athletic boys who started the season pretty lame at soccer, told his mom that when he grew up he wanted to be either a marine biologist or a professional soccer player. There's little doubt which he's more likely to become, but still I think that's an indicator that our season was a huge success.

But during the season, we played that stacked team, and although we lost 7 to 1, I felt sorry for the kids on the other team. Our league has a "good sportsmanship" rule that says if you win by more than six goals, you actually lose three points in the standings. So, when we played this stacked team, they got their six goals in the first half. In the second half, their coach had to keep the goalie and three of the seven field players inside the defensive 18 yard box so they wouldn't be so dominant. So, while my kids were playing hard and having fun trying their best, those kids were bored. They might as well have been on the bench.

But the coaches actually were happy with the game. They actually thought the victory was the important thing. And I just shake my head and wonder why. My kids came off the field tired and happy and ready for their snack and gatorade, knowing they got blown out but by the afternoon not a one of them cared. What they remembered was their one good pass, their one good tackle, their one shot that was almost a goal. (Which, of course, it wasn't anywhere near being.)

There are times when winning is the only important thing. When the best participate and the rest watch. When losing hurts so bad you want to kick the dog (but don't, of course, because kicking dogs is to be frowned upon). But when kids are 8 years old... No. Absolutely not. The only thing that matters (besides no injuries) is that everyone be allowed to have fun.