Fiction Friday: mythical figure

This week's theme: Pick a mythical person or creature (e.g., Santa, Thor, Easter Bunny), and explain through dialogue, essay, or anything else, why they are unhappy with their job or position in life.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Ganymede, and I'll be your sommelier tonight. If you're ordering the braised lamb, I can recommend some excellent vintages from the hills of Crete. If, however, you go with a more traditional goat dish--avoid the entrails tonight; the prophet who disemboweled the goat did not use the cleanest of knives, I'm told--if you go with the traditional goat grill platter, I can offer a rare Savatiano. I say rare because although it is a common varietal, this bottle is actually quite delicious, particularly with the savory flavor of the goat.

And if any of you happens to be involved in casting for the new play downtown, I would just like to add that I'm really an actor and can play any part you like. I've done tragedy and comedy in community theater, and--what's that? Oh, yes, I was the lead in one play... hmm? Well, probably something you haven't heard of... yes, it was a comedy. Yes, I know perhaps some may find it unbecoming for a Trojan prince such as myself to prance around dressed as a harlot, but--now see here, it was a serious role!

Dionysus! That drunkard couldn't act his way out of a toga. And, for someone who claims to know so much about wine, he's a very poor judge of vintage, let me tell you. I don't know why he gets all the girls.

Yes. All right, then. The Savatiano it is. But you may regret not auditioning me. I may not be here next week. I've got a line on a terrific part... yes, certainly, I'll bring over your waiter.