Fiction Friday: bad news

This week's theme: Write the first thing that comes to mind when you read this line: Bad news cures all things.

I am sorry, folks, but due to travel and work, I am unable to spend even five minutes on Fiction Friday this week. I love the theme, though, and the moment I saw it I thought of two or three good twists on that. I look forward to seeing what you've all written... but it may not be until Monday or Tuesday.

[edit: I guess the above qualifies as "bad news." You're left to your own devices to figure out what things this particular bad news cures.]

[edit: I found the time to make an entry, here.]