March 28, 2008

Fiction Friday: only a fiver

only a fiver
3/28/2008 - Monday light verse, special FF edition
Fiction Friday prompt: Describe a time your character was wronged; even though it was insignificant to the one who wronged them, your character never got over it. (Join Fiction Friday here.)

You got drunk in Reno while in a casino
and gambled your money away.
And when you drew four threes, you bet him your car keys
but too bad it wasn't your day.
Cause he had four sevens, and cursing the heavens
you hustled off, lost in dismay.
You wandered to my place, and begged for some bed space,
and graciously I let you stay.
I gave you a warning that early next morning
I'd have to be going away,
and while I was sleeping, you set yourself creeping,
your honesty going astray,
And then, you conniver, you took my last fiver
and snuck out to go back and play.
So now I'm disgusted, you'll never be trusted.
Our friendship you just threw away.

One of my writing goals for 2008 is to write at least one light verse or poem every week in addition to my haiku wednesday and fiction friday posts. I will try to do this on Mondays.


Jodi Cleghorn said...

I love the contrast of the rhyming verse, with the content of the poem. It has a beautiful lilting tempo that makes the act of theft, betrayal of a friendship and a gambler's addiction all the more horrible.

Looking forward to reading more 'light verse' ... makes me want to go back and buy the dictionary of rhyme that I saw on my shopping trip a few hours ago.

PJD said...

Thanks, Jodi! I've got a bunch of light verse already this year (you can find it via the "light verse" tag in my tag list to the right on the blog page.

I'm away all weekend, but I'll try to read your FF entry after the weekend.

P said...

Odd question pjd - are you a Brit living in the US? It's just odd to see someone use the term "fiver" (or conniver!) outside the UK!

The humour of this is a stark contrast to the deep addiction of the gambler and the loss of the friendship.

Chris Eldin said...

I agree with Jodi and Paul.

This was really good. Your rhymes usually are.

ChefDruck said...

I loved this poem. As everyone else has commented the contrast between the light tone and the serious content was brilliant. Betting your car keys just speaks to such gambling addiction.

Blogless Troll said...

Awesome. Insert a chorus after "I let you stay" and you've got a chart topping country song.

(That's meant as a compliment, not sarcastically.)

PJD said...

adding a chorus, eh? interesting idea. I never thought about writing lyrics, but I guess when it's got rhyme and meter it's not a stretch to imagine music along with it. And I see what you mean about a country tune... hmm...