blog cacophonygenerations
07/18/2008
A stick was I given, and
as I walked the beach
I dragged it
scratching furrowed letters,
marking my travel
rhythmic cacophony of waves
slate gray cresting to frothing white
flattening to nothingness
smoothing the sand
before me
near the land's end
smooth sand morphed
a jagged rock blockade
I turned as the world
and faced my past
what I had written
faded behind me
erased again to smooth sand
I shook my stick in despair
angry wail unheard
memories swept away
lost
stolen by time
but in the distance
a boy
he walked in the smooth sand
and dragged a straight stick
and the laughing waves
slid slate gray and white
under the sun
One of my writing goals for 2008 is to write at least one light verse or poem every week in addition to my haiku wednesday. I will try to do this on Mondays. This is not particularly "light verse," but I'm tagging it that anyway.
July 18, 2008
generations
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6 comments:
This is excellent. Especially, the circle you have completed at the end.
i really love this.. one of my fondest memories is writing all the words to breakdown by tom petty in the sand in the beach in st augustine... i feel when i read this,, i am there again...
Really beautiful Pete and a perfect metaphor for the life.
Nice. Like the repeated action implied in this. I think that that second verse may be trying a little hard in the first lines, though.
This was really lovely. I was walking on that beach right with you. Lovely imagery. Great evocative writing.
To all, thanks for the comments! I really appreciate that you stopped by to read this.
Koala, thanks for the feedback. I love feedback. I may not work at revising the poems I post, but it is a big help to know how people respond when I'm working on new stuff in the future. (By the way, I see what you mean. And remember the whiskey. It really does help.)
Anyone else? I do not get offended by criticism!
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