July 27, 2007

Fiction Friday: Play on Words

This Week’s Theme: Use the word afoot in dialog.
The scene: A wood. Enter two gentlemen (Rollick and Given), swords drawn. They do not look particularly aware of their surroundings, appearing to be engrossed in conversation.
G: What did you say to him then?
R: You were there, you should know.
G: I was? I should?
R: Certainly.
G: Ah. But. Well.
R: You don't remember, do you?
G: Of course I remember.
R: Then what did I say to him?
G: Weren't you listening either?
R, exasperated, stops and points his sword at G's chest.
G: Ah, I remember now! It was something about cards.
They continue strolling, swords idle in their hands.
R: We were playing Ruff and Trump.
G: On my honours, yes. It's all coming back to me now. The hand plays cards, the mind plays tricks.
R: Get on, then.
G: Let's play a hand!
R: I haven't got the cards. He has them.
G: No, no, that's what you said. "Let's play a hand."
R: Hmm. I don't think so. It wasn't a hand. It was a different part of the anatomy.
G stops and looks shocked.
R: No, no, not that part. I think it was another extremity.
G: Perhaps you said, "This will come to a head." You were also drinking beer.
R: And there's the trick in it. A beer in the hand makes the cards sticky.
G: I bet.
R: No, you didn't.
G: What?
R: You didn't bet. In fact, I can't recall your ante.
G: Well, of course you can't. My parents had no sisters.
R: What are you on about now? Watch where you're stepping.
G: I never had an auntie. My parents were only children.
R stops, looks quizzically at G.
R: Your parents were only children.
G: That's right.
R: When they had you. When you were born, they were only children.
G: Their entire lives. And they'll be only children when they die.
R (expression showing sudden enlightment): Ah, I see. As I can hardly bear you myself. I didn't see how only a child could have borne you.
G: It would be a difficult burden to shoulder indeed.
R: Your mother must be strong.
G: As a bear.
R: With shoulders like a bear?
G: Bare shoulders, sometimes. But never while playing cards.
R: She must protect her honours lest she be termed a rough strumpet. Watch where you're stepping.
G: I think it was a foot.
R: How's that again?
G: You said something about a foot. He said "Let's play a hand," and you replied, "Now the game's a foot."
R: Afoot.
G (stopping in triumph): Exactly!
R: It's all running together for me.
G: The feet?
R: The memories.
G: That would be the beer.
R turns and stabs G in the arm; G drops his sword and holds the wound, shocked.
R: That would be defeat.
curtain.


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11 comments:

paisley said...

now that was clever... what an awesome game of play on words... i loved it....

Rose Dewy Knickers said...

*Wild applause*

Bravo, bravo!

I was on the edge of seat laughing, wondering afoot would be afoot.

Thank you for making me smile. :)

Rose

xo

GarthTrekker said...

Truly clever. And I won't deny it. And denial is more than a river in Africa. LOL - fun story. My short short is up at Bloggin' Outloud. Lyn

lissa said...

It's an amusing read - I kept anticipating the word 'afoot'. Guess that what promts do - they make you anticipate for a particular thing

Tammi said...

Pete,
This is hilarious and it reads so smoothly. Love the defeat at the end...How on earth did you come up with so many jokes in so little time?

Jaysee said...

Truly awesome! what an inventive way of interpreting the prompt. JC

Annie said...

my, how you do play with words. it's a game, a tricky game....and fun.

bluesugarpoet said...

Brilliant post, as usual - it's enough to make old Bill jealous! Very punny!
J@na

Jaysee said...

Thanks for your comments on my entry. I've gone back over it in light of your suggestions. JC

writtenwyrdd said...

really funny.

Ch@ndy said...

Loved it!! It reminds me of standing in your kitchen...something punny is always afoot.
xoxo