mallapropisms

mallapropism: an incorrect price tag on an item in a store

There is an email going around crediting the Washington Post with a contest that challenges the entrants to take any word from the dictionary, create a new word by adding, subtracting, or changing a single letter, and supply a definition for that new word. Although I can not find any reference to this on the Washington Post's web site, I'm willing to believe the attribution. Below are the 2006 winners, according to the email that's going around like a flu virus in a day care center:

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating

Finally, some contributions to the list from me (not submitted to the contest):
meducation: self-diagnosis of fatal diseases by use of Google
poutside: where children are taken when they're being naughty in a restaurant
relinquash: to give a whining child the toy they want in order to get some peace and quiet
cornsider: to go into the cornfield to set 'n' ponder a while
harboor: the sailor who doesn't know proper sailing etiquette
iconfusion: not understanding what all those darned little pictures on the computer mean
vergitarian: someone who has almost decided to stop eating meat

(Yes, that first one, mallapropism, is mine as well.)