May 4, 2010

looking for happiness in the bottom of a D cup

Here in California, we have a lot of fake boobs.  We also have a lot of things that create fake happiness.  Napa offers wine, Marin offers marijuana, and Genentech offers Valium.  These mind altering substances offer a brief illusion of happiness but do not actually make people happy.  Fake boobs may or may not make certain people happy, for real.

A week or so ago a woman in Orange County went so far as to fake some credit in order to pay for her new fake boobs.  She was looking forward to hitting the bars to show off her new chest, but it looks like she'll be spending time (six months) behind bars instead.

Back in 2005, ABC aired a story about a new trend:  parents giving their children boob jobs for high school graduation.  Presumably, the gift was limited to daughters.  But again, this is California, so anything's possible.  The best line from this story:
The gift of breast implants costs about $7,000. "But I don't think you can put really a price on your child's happiness," [Jennifer's mom] said.
That's right.  No price is too high for our child's happiness because, you know, money can buy happiness.  If the Jaguar doesn't do it for you, maybe a nice rack will.  If that doesn't work, maybe Xanax is for you.

Here in our very own elementary school, my younger son acted and sang in the school play.  He was a cardsman in Alice in Wonderland, and although it wasn't a starring role, he had several lines and loved every minute of it.  By all accounts, the play was a smashing production, and I agree.  Really well done, with some terrific performances.  Around the last week of rehearsals, though, I heard an ugly rumor that some of the little girls (these are 10 and 11 year olds) had begun taking anti anxiety medication because of the pressure of this play.  This wasn't about boobs, of course.

But this was:  A retailer in the UK was recently forced to pull a product from its shelves.  The product?  Bikinis for girls younger than 10 years old.  Bikinis with padded bras, for girls younger than 10 years old.  The article notes an anonymous source with a possibly reasonable explanation for this, but really.  Come on.  Really?

Padded bras for little girls?  Women stealing money to get boob jobs?  Children taking anti anxiety medication to make it through the school play?  Parents buying their daughters new boobs to create self esteem?

What the cuss has happened to us?

At least this lady knows how to teach her son proper values.  If he's gonna steal the Xanax she hid in her bra, she's gonna turn him in to the cops.  Talk about looking for happiness in the bottom of a D cup.


Leslie said...

At Monte Vista High School in Danville (where my kids went to school) some families, instead of attending "Mother-Daughter Math Night" or mother-daughter charity fundraisers, have been known to book "mother-daughter" boob job appointments for Christmas, birthdays and graduations. Such a sad commentary on our culture and what it is we value in life!

Sarah Laurenson said...

I don't understand cosmetic surgery. You risk death every time and for what exactly? Sure it might be a small risk, but it's in there. And the payoff is more self-esteem? Don't think so. The payoff is more money coming out of someone's wallet.

Self-esteem is an inside job and no amount of money or fake tissue will buy it.

I wonder about the amount of anti-depressants that are prescribed these days. Maybe we should be looking at simplifying our lives instead of taking pills to help us cope with stressors we really shouldn't be trying to cope with.

Helicopter parents. *sigh*

word ver: sighh

PJD said...

Leslie: Wow. Sometimes I am so glad I have boys instead of girls. Boys face their own pressures, of course, but nothing quite as brutally visible and deeply ingrained in all of society as cleavage (or lack thereof).

Sarah: Right on! Self esteem is an inside job. I wonder if anyone has done long term studies to see if teens (or adults) who get enhancement surgeries really do have greater happiness and self esteem 10 years down the road. I suspect that there is an initial spike in self esteem, but if the foundation is not there to begin with, happiness erodes in other aspects of life. But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe seeing boys' eyes pop out all the time is a constant ego boost and never goes away.

Not unlike taking prozac or xanax or whatever every single day. Eventually it will wear off, but you can always get another dose of pills or eyes popping out.

Speaking of Prozac, back in 2004 there was an alarming discovery in the UK. My thought at the time was, "If Prozac today, how long until Viagra as well?"

jjdebenedictis said...

I thought of Heidi Montag as soon as I read the title of this post. She justifies her recent and extensive plastic surgery (at 23 years of age) by saying she's the same person inside.

Which is the problem. On the inside, she still doesn't love herself, is still insecure about her looks, and still thinks she'll be happy if only she can somehow, quasi-magically, become beautiful enough.

The surgery didn't fix any of that.

PJD said...

JJ, wow. I had no idea who that woman was until I clicked through your link and then had to google non-photos to find out. Loved this bit from wikipedia:

In early April 2010, Montag showed off her newly enlarged breasts while hosting an event at the Aria's Liquid Pool in Las Vegas.

What's interesting here is that I've heard of two moms at our elementary school who felt the need to expose their newly enlarged breasts to friends in the women's room. Generally, the friends were a bit shocked and not as appreciative as the audience would have been if the same exhibition had been attempted in the men's room.

And this:
Heidi has said she wants to make her bust even larger, but she can't because she has reached the FDA approved size limit for breast implants.

The FDA has an approved size limit for implants? I think the FDA singlehandedly may have just restored my faith in our government.

OK, not really. That faith won't be restored until steroids are out of baseball, NCAA football has a playoff, and everyone can marry their true love regardless of gender.

Sarah Laurenson said...

I don't think the fake ones weigh as much - put as much pressure on the shoulders and back - as real ones. They sure do seem to defy gravity and that's what creeps me out about them. They're so obviously fake. I'm much more into down to earth women with real bodies, real wrinkles and grey hair if they've got them.

I think there was a report about L.A. water not that long ago that talked about the drugs that were not getting filtered out. They mentioned the prescription ones, but it made me wonder about the non-prescription drugs. You know we reclaim our water in these here parts and people flush all kinds of things. And all kinds of drugs show up in our yellow waters.