Cal vs Sacramento State

Bears Fans,

It's that time of year again! Football is just around the corner, and Cal has been voted to finish #2 in the Pac-10 by the local media. (USC was the unanimous #1 and is expected to be #1 in all preseason national polls.) The only Pac-10 team Cal misses this year is ASU, the team picked by the media to finish third (maybe they saw that ASU gets to miss Cal). UW (Cal's first conference opponent, on Sept 10) and Stanford (Cal's final conference opponent) are picked to finish 10th and 9th, respectively.

But on to the opener:
Cal [media guide] vs Sacramento State Hornets [media guide]

Cal has had strong home openers since Tedford came to town:
2004: Beat NMSU, 41-14
2003: Beat Southern Miss, 34-2
2002: Beat Baylor, 70-22

Of those, only Baylor was the actual season opener, with Cal losing on the road to Kansas State in 2003 and beating Air Force handily on the road in last year's opener. This year, there is good reason to think that the average differential of 38 points in Cal's home openers under Tedford will be matched, and possibly surpassed.

The I-AA Hornets have been picked to finish 7th in their conference, the Big Sky, behind such powerhouse programs as Eastern Washington, Montana, and Northern Arizona. In fact, they were picked as a tie for 7th place in both the media and conference coaches polls... in an 8-team conference. Last season, the Hornets finished 7th in the conference with a conference record of 2-5.

The Hornets return 17 starters from last season, including 9 that were some level of all-conference selection. They lose their starting QB as well as an All-America wide receiver who had been a standout for four years. The top QB is a senior who appeared in four games and had just 27 pass attempts (11 completions, 1 TD). They also have a pair of JC transfers, one of whom has been at four colleges including Fresno State (greyshirt) and Marshall (redshirt).

The running backs look talented with a little depth and a strong starter in honorable mention Freshman All-American Ryan Mole. They are thin at receiver, where they lose the All-American star and have just 500 yards receiving in their top three returning WRs. There are depth and youth at WR and tailback, but that can be a double-edged sword. It will hurt the Hornets mightily against the larger, more athletic, more fit Bears.

The Hornets do have all five starters returning on the OL. Not one player on the OL has more than one year of starting, though. That's right--they were all first-year starters at the beginning of last season, and they all return this year. Clearly, they will be much improved, but there's still not a ton of experience, and they'll have a new QB behind them. They are not what you would call undersized, but they would be a very small line for the Pac-10. Their starters will average somewhere around 280, whereas most OL in the Pac-10 are closer to 300, with several, like Cal's O line, significantly heavier.

On defense, the Hornets return seven starters: two linemen, two linebackers, and three DBs. In addition, they have seven other DL who saw significant playing time last year. Again, "undersized" would be inaccurate for their line, but they are small for a Pac-10 team. Inside, the tackles average about 280, which is pretty good, but outside, the ends average about 240. Not tiny, but not the kind of line that will hold up well to Cal's punishing size and fitness over sixty minutes. The linebackers are in the 220 range, which makes them small targets and possible roadkill for Marshawn Lynch.

The only DBs taller than 6'0" are the three free safeties; all the other DBs are six feet or under. The unit has talent, with two of the three returning starters earning either Freshman all-conference or honorable mention Freshman all-conference. The other returning starter also was an honorable mention all-conference player last year. I think the Bears will match up well here, too, with a height advantage and also the powerful running game that will distract the safeties and Cal's big offensive line which will give the incoming Cal QB a lot of time.

One interesting connection: Hornet DL Brandon Povio is a Cal transfer who is new to the Sac State roster.

On special teams, the Hornets return both their kickers but are searching for a new long-snapper.

Cal has their own problems to deal with, and this game against Sacramento State at home will provide a very good opportunity to check how the motor runs in a relatively safe and easy full-game situation.

We all know the Bears need to replace Aaron Rodgers. None of the top candidates has ever taken a snap at the Div I-A level. Tedford has a choice between a highly regarded JC transfer (Ayoob), a redshirt freshman who was a star in high school (Longshore), a converted fullback (Levy) and a true freshman phenom (Reed). Ayoob and Longshore are the frontrunners with Longshore getting Tedford's nod as "the incumbent." I would expect both to play in the first two games, though, just as Tedford played Rodgers and Robertson together when they were both new.

It's interesting to think that Bears fans are probably already salivating at the idea of watching Marshawn Lynch in his second year in the Blue & Gold. Remember who was the featured tailback last year? Some guy named Joe... Jay... JJ? Arrington, that's right! Yeah, he gained something like 2,000 yards and had over 100 yards in all 12 games... but what about that kid Lynch! Plus, there's depth. Terrell Williams (senior) and Marcus O'Keith are capable backups that would be featured backs in any mid-major conference. In addition, Chris Mandarino is back at fullback after three years as a starter. Add him to the outstanding offensive line, and this team will have one scary, bad-ass rushing attack this year.

Speaking of the OL, only Jonathan Giesel is missing from last year's starters (he is going to play in Japan's X-League). All five starters last year made some level of all-Pac-10 honor, and Cal was the league's rushing champion last year. Marvin Philip and Ryan O'Callaghan are the stalwarts and are on all the national award watch lists. Andrew Merz and Aaron Cameron are the other returning starters. O'Callaghan is 6'7" and 360 pounds. Merz is 6'4", 340 pounds. Cameron is 6'5", 305 pounds. Philip is 6'2", 305 pounds. This is a big, athletic, talented line that won games last year by wearing down opponents and owning the fourth quarter. No reason to assume this year will be different.

The biggest problem will be the passing game. (I can hear you all saying, "Duh. He thinks he's so smart. I could write that." Yeah, well, you're the one reading it.) Not only will the Bears have the new QB after one of the best in Cal history, but the Bears lost their top four receivers in McArthur, Lyman, Makonnen, and Toler. The names we recognize returning are Robert Jordan, who looked athletic and fresh last year, ending with over 330 yards receiving and starting the final six games; and Noah Smith, David Gray, and Sam DeSa. Not a lineup that strikes fear in opposing DBs' hearts. Not only that, but the Bears also lost TE Garrett Cross and have virtually no experience to take over there, though there is some talent.

On defense, the Bears are also rebuilding a bit. Gone are Lorenzo Alexander and Ryan Riddle, but returning are Tosh Lupoi and Brandon Mebane. It will be hard to replace the departing talent, but before last year, Riddle was relatively unknown. With the incoming talent and available backups, I think there is hope for a solid unit here.

Linebacker is the same story. Gone are Wendell Hunter, Sid Slater, Joe Maningo, and Francis Blay-Miezah. Yet the talent coming in, while inexperienced, is very highly rated and decorated. This is another reason Cal fans should be happy that Sac State is the first game of the season.

In the defensive backfield, it's another mixed bag. Cornerback is looking good with returning players Donnie McCleskey, Daymeion Hughes, and Harrison Smith. The hole is at safety, where Matt Giordano and Ryan Gutierrez, both reliable, speedy hard-hitters, have departed. With Tim Mixon and Thomas DeCoud back as well, the Bears have a good group in the DBs and a lot of experience and talent to work with.

In the kicking department... well, all the same guys are back, but the field goals were hit-and-miss last year. David Lonie was a capable punter and should be better after last year.

It would be better not to predict the outcome of the opening game. There are so many unknowns on both teams with new QBs and inexperienced receiving corps, and other rebuilding opportunities. I would give the Bears at least 32 points, and actually I expect it to be far more lopsided than that. I am thinking that the Hornets will not make it to the end zone unless it's on a kick return. The Bears, however, should be able to run roughshod all game, and the second half will be all Cal due to the superior size, strength, and fitness. I expect the second half alone to be 35-0. The first half should be similar though a little lower scoring. I think we are likely to see a final score somewhere around 56-0 or 63-0.

Go Bears!

Over 1,800... and counting

Yesterday on BART I sat in the only empty seat left, near the middle of the car, next to a guy who looked like he maybe was on his way to work at a house-painting job. He had a dirty, old baseball cap, a scrungy white tee shirt, and dirty, well-worn jeans. His face was stubble-covered, and he smiled at me with bleary eyes and crooked teeth and a stink of something that maybe was rum.

As I sat down next to him, he held his hand out and said, "My son just got back from Iraq." I shook his hand, smiled back. "That's great," I said. I asked how long he was back for. Just a couple weeks, then he's going to some fort in Texas or the Carolinas or somewhere east. After a year there, he's scheduled to deploy to Afghanistan. The pride shone in this guy's voice, his smile, his bleary, drunken, teary eyes. He'd also just seen his 10-month-old granddaughter for the first time. He was truly a happy man.

It's strange sitting next to a stereotype straight out of a movie. This guy, Mike, told me that he'd called his boss to say that a bus had broken down and he couldn't get to work; his boss knew that Mike had been drunk the night before and there was no broken down bus. His boss had recently remarked that every day Mike missed work was a Monday. At one point Mike called a friend on his cell phone and said, "I ran into my son last night, he's been back ten days" before the phone dropped the signal. This was clearly a man who did not think much of himself, who had never aspired to much, who was content getting drunk every weekend and just holding down a menial job. But he was also a man who knew he'd done something right because his soldier son was back from war, home to a growing family... and was likely to go back to war in a year's time.

Later yesterday I read an op-ed column saying that it's easy to send others off to war, to have others sacrifice for war. There is no "moral cost" to the people making the decisions in their halls of marble and tapestry and granite. The average, middle-class and upper-crust American does not personally know anyone in harm's way in Iraq or Afghanistan, does not have to sacrifice job or family or even money to support the war. Even the $200 billion spent on it so far, and the $1 billion a week Iraq is costing US taxpayers is like raising the temperature one degree on a 90-degree day, or like having your tomato garden yeild only 500 tomatoes instead of 501--we just don't notice any cost or pain or sacrifice because we are not asked to make any.

It's easy to support a war, to say "we'll do whatever it takes," if all it takes is to stick a yellow magnet on your car and put a flag out on July 4th. With over 250,000 different individuals having cycled through Iraq, it is perhaps an amazing statistic that only 1,800 have died and some 10,000 have been maimed or seriously wounded. Mike's son is lucky not to be among those. Other daughters-in-law, other baby granddaughters, are not so lucky--their moms or dads are dead, forever. Or perhaps they are missing a leg and have to make do with virtually no support from the government that sent them into danger.

When Mike got off at his stop, though, I said, "Right on" to his parting delivery of "God bless America, huh?" The people making the real sacrifices are hidden, silent, and invisible. It will always be easy for the rest of us to support a war when we have no cost associated with saying, "Bring 'em on."

Star Wors, Epusowd 1

I think Ethan was seven when he wrote a book called Star Wors, Epusowd 1. It is pretty true to the plot of the movie, though it's tough to tell unless you're actually his parent. I have chosen my favorite illustration from the book to share. I have no idea where "diyoxin" comes from, or who is yelling it in this illustration. But it's pretty clearly two Jedi knights with light sabres. Perhaps it's Quai-gon and Obi-wan being gassed by the Bad Guys at the beginning of the movie.

The Gym: It's a Good Thing

After three years of working across the street from a 24Hour Fitness here in SF, I finally got a 10-day free pass of their web site and went to check it out. Nice facility. After hearing all the plans, they finally hit on one that was perfect for me: M/W/F/Su only, this club only, for $25 a month. Since I'm in the office only on M/W/F, that was all I needed. So I joined.

Best thing I've done for my body in years. Pretty much everyone reading this knows I play soccer regularly and am generally a pretty fit person. During the summer and fall I usually play soccer three times a week--on Tuesday lunchtime, Thursday evening, and Sunday morning.

In the past few years I've begun suffering from age--creaky joints, desperate pain in my ankles each morning, tired hamstrings and thighs. I could pretty much count on pain in some joint or other whenever I moved, especially up and down the stairs. Not any more. I thought lifting weights three times a week in addition to the soccer would make everything hurt more--and it did, for about a week. Now, there's no pain at all except the general soreness after a really hard workout or a really hot afternoon soccer game. It's all gone.

I haven't been a member of a gym since college, when it was free for students at Cal. And I think I can honestly say that I haven't been in this good shape and felt this good in at least a decade. At least, I can't remember feeling any better than this. But that may just be my memory going. The gym is good for counteracting some symptoms of aging, but apparently not all of them.

The God Thing

I think I may be a closet pagan. Not Pagan with a capital 'P', worshiping the "Goddess" and going to Burning Man and celebrating the solstice instead of Christmas. Not my style. My spirituality is much more personal and eschews all forms of organized worship and ritual. I just don't think ritual really has anything to do with real spirituality. Claiming that you have to say certain things at certain times, face certain directions, and put your body in certain positions seems to me to be like saying that your relationship with your spouse is based on the time of day you brush your teeth; the order in which you turn on the car, put on the seat belt, and adjust the mirror; whether you say "hello" or something else when you answer the phone.

I also simply don't believe in a God, a single infinite intelligence that is responsible for creating and running everything. People tell me that because the universe is so well ordered, it couldn't possibly be random chance that atoms formed and things evolved to the point where the particular bunch of atoms that make up my body can be causing these thoughts to manifest and be transferred to your mind. People also ask that if there's no God, how can there be intelligence? How can we think and feel and love and hate?

The answer is simple, and it uses the same argument that people of faith use: God is infinite, and God works in mysterious ways. People of faith very readily admit that they don't understand God because God simply can't be fully understood by our limited minds. Well, if God is so infinite, then why isn't it possible that God actually doesn't exist and it's just a different infinity--the infinity of random chance--that causes us to be here?

Faith is a personal choice. I really don't have a problem with anyone who chooses to believe in God. I do, however, have a problem with organized religion. I know it has its benefits, particularly as a center of social activity, humanitarian work, and education. But organized religion has also been the cause of hatred, bigotry, war, terrorism, and genocide. My grandmother disowned one of her two sons because he married a woman outside their Faith--they were all Christians, but the wife's Christianity was apparently not the right kind. Grandma never spoke to her son again.

I have read portions of the Bible and taken classes on world religions. I would not call myself a scholar of religion by any means except through some reading and a lot of exposure to history, particularly European history. European history does not paint the Curch as a kind and gentle organization. More often than not, bishops were as powerful as kings politically, sometimes moreso. Christianity's spread was so successful because of three primary things: A strong missionary culture; a powerful use of the sword and torture when diplomacy did not work; and a successful tradition of embracing local pagan traditions into Christian ritual.

I digress. Some people are born with Faith, some achieve Faith, and some have Faith thrust upon them. I do not believe in God, yet I consider myself a person of Faith. I believe in many things outside the realm of human perception; I believe in the interconnectedness of all life and all things; I believe in the infinite possibilities and configurations of nature. My Faith is a bit bleak in that it includes no afterlife, no idea of a single soul living in my body. Instead, my Faith allows for a univeral soul of sorts, and some portion of that inhabits my body while I live and returns to the universe when I die. Perhaps this is the same idea as God; I've heard God described sometimes thus.

But it's not the God of the Bible, an old man with a beard who created Adam in His image. It's not a God who rules over a Heaven, with a host of angels at his command. It's not a God that controls things with the authority of a fascist dictator.

That's why I'm having a problem with the whole God thing right now. Number One Son is on his way to a God-oriented camp for a week with some friends. I know he'll have a great time and learn some things, and it will do wonders for his growth and independence. But he has to have his Very Own Bible. I guess the Gideons haven't been to this particular campsite yet. Additionally, he and Little Brother just finished a week of day camp that I later found out was called "Vacation Bible Camp." People of Faith will be offended, but the idea of Bible Camp creeps me out. Maybe it's because of the creepy guys who kept trying to recruit me to go to "bible study" while I was in college.

Number One Son says he doesn't believe in God. When he was six, he asked me, "If God made everything, who made God?" He asked the wrong person if he wanted an answer that supported the theory of God. I am not expecting him to come home from this camp asking to go to church every Sunday, but I do worry that there are forces beginning to shape him that are outside my control. Forces that I do not necessarily agree with. This is part of growing up, and it's the first test of my ability to let him grow into the man he will become. We will have conversations, eventually, about friends and drugs and sex and all that, and perhaps I should be grateful that the first conversations are about God and not sex or drugs or finding a bail bondsman open on a Sunday night.

The worst trip I've ever had

Remember the trip that began with the three-hour seatbelt light and the excruciating pain, and the two-hour delay for a 38-minute flight? It got better.

The first day was fine, until about 11 at night, when I began feeling the first symptoms of what can only be relatively mild food poisoning. Finally, at 3 a.m. after revisiting all of my dinner, lunch, and breakfast in that order, I managed to get to sleep. Of course I skipped the first half of my meetings which started at 8 a.m., but with PowerAde in hand I managed to attend the 10-12 portion. Then on to the airport for the return journey. By now I was feeling OK enough to eat a banana and half a plain bagel, so I thought my troubles were behind me.

Don't you hate this boarding by "zones" thing airlines are doing now? What is this? Zones seem arbitrarily defined and, in my experience, have significantly slowed the boarding process. I think they must put you in a zone based on how many flight miles you have with the airline. On this flight, I was in zone 8, so I was the third-to-last to board. Of course, this meant that my rollaboard bag had to be gate checked through to San Francisco. I had specifically not checked the bag so I could (a) make sure it did not get lost and (b) not have to wait for it at SFO before my hour-and-a-half train ride home.

They lost my luggage.

So not only did I wait at SFO for the LAST BAG block to tumble onto the carousel, but then I had to spend 20 extra minutes informing them mine was lost. They promised to deliver it this morning, but their web site says "Bag Status: We have not received any updates on this bag."

Finally got home just before midnight. This is definitely the worst trip I've ever taken for business. And I will never, ever, ever fly Delta again even though I had a wonderful experience a year ago going from DC through Salt Lake to SFO.

Born Learning

Everyone who knows anyone about to have a baby should know about Born Learning. The most critical stage of a baby's development is the first three years, and Born Learning is an effort to educate new parents about how to make every activity an opportunity for stimulation of that little mind. The Born Learning site has three cute TV PSAs that highlight what the program is about. Share this with anyone you know who may be in a position to share it with new parents. It's Good Stuff.

Research proves that investment in early childhood development makes more economic development sense to a community than investment in any other so-called "economic development" (think about $350 million for a new baseball stadium, say, or $200 million to build a new office park to lure a big company's headquarters away from another city).

People scoffed at the phrase, "It takes a village to raise a child," but that's the simple truth. If we, each and every one of us, don't take an active interest in ensuring that the babies born today in our poorest neighborhoods--and even in wealthy neighborhoods where TV has become the de facto nanny--are given the best chances for development and eventual success, then the country will continue to decline, and there isn't a damn thing the president or congress or Supreme Court can do about it.

There's Caution, and then there's Cruel and Unusual

I may not fly Delta Airlines again because of the weather. But when you have a bad experience, it's a bad experience, and you don't want to repeat it. Then again, I'd pobably never fly again if I stopped flying every airline on which I'd ever had a bad experience.

My flight yesterday left SFO just about on time, headed for Atlanta. The pilot said we'd arrive in Atlanta "just about on time," so I was hopeful I'd make my connection with just a 35 minute layover, but I didn't worry about it. We had a movie, which I didn't watch because I was working while my laptop's battery still had juice.

I am one of those people who will do almost anything, suffer nearly any discomfort so as not to inconvenience other people, particularly in public. So when I realized halfway through the movie I had to use the lavatory, I decided to wait until the end so I wouldn't have to make my rowmate miss any of the movie.

An experienced traveler, I knew that a line would form just after the movie ended. So, I waited for the line to reduce, which it never did. Eventually, after a half hour, I got up and stood in line. I stood for no more than three minutes and was still about #5 in line, worrying that I was making the people sitting around me uncomfortable by my presence, when the captain turned on the seat belt sign and said he expected turbulence. OK, so I returned to my seat, being a good passenger.

This was about an hour into my discomfort, with about 90 minutes left in the flight. At least five times over the course of the next 70 minutes, either the captain or the flight attendants announced that they whould be turning off the seat belt sign "in just a few moments" and that they really needed everyone seated. The captain explained this was for "our safety as well as the safety of the other passengers," and that he'd been "watching the radar" because we were skirting the edge of the system caused by a local hurricane. He thought there might be a few bumps.

By the time the captain announced we were beginning our initial descent into Atlanta (usually that's about 20-25 minutes from touching down, then another 5-10 minutes to the gate, then another 10-15 for everyone in front of you to get the hell out of the way), my pain was spectacular and I was in real danger of having an embarrassing second-grade style moment. Still, I told myself that I could make it and tried not to think how long it would be before landing.

Right about this time they'd begun showing the flight status--map, elevation, air speed, ground speed, etc.--on the LCD panels popped down from the ceiling. I began to notice that we'd been at 11,000 feet and 250 miles per hour for quite a while, longer than I would normally expect on approach. Moments later, the engines whined back up again, and the captain announced that due to thunderstorms just in front of the runway approach, we were being held off for 10 to 15 minutes and would be entering a holding pattern.

Since I'd been in a holding pattern for well over two hours now, I decided to break the rules. I stood, forced my rowmate to let me out, and sped to the rear of the plane, aggressively ignoring all the glowing read seat belt icons glaring at me as I passed. I got to the rear of the plane, and the flight attendant gave me a nasty look and said in her best bad-white-trash-mother-voice, "Can't hold it? We really need everyone seated." I mumbled something about two hours and being in line when the light went on and just hurried into the bathroom.

The rest of the ride was fine. What really steamed me, though, was that I had more bumps on the 30-second BART ride between 19th St and 12 St that morning than I had on the entire 4-hour flight from SFO to Atlanta. Either this pilot was simply overly cautious or overly cruel, or they need to get their weather radar calibrated.

By now, of course, I figured I'd miss my connection with just a 35 minute layover. I had to get from terminal A to terminal B in probably 10 minutes. As we taxied to our gate, I saw that B20, the gate my connection was supposed to depart from, was empty. Relief set in again because if there was no equipment yet, I couldn't possibly miss the flight.

Little did I know that this flight from Atlanta to Charlotte, which they announced as being 38 minutes in the air, would be nearly two hours delayed. It was supposed to depart at 8:03 and finally left the gate around 9:45. This was because the plane, coming from Chicago, was so late getting in. Then there was lightning around the airport, so they couldn't finish fueling it quickly. Needless to say, because of the weather we were something like #24 in line to take off when we pushed back, so we did not arrive in Charlotte until after 11:30 p.m., four hours after I landed in Atlanta.

Checking maps.google.com, I see that Atlanta to Charlotte by road is about 240 miles, or probably about four hours driving.

Excruciating
Silent, painful suffering
Airplane bathroom line

Raising the Bar

First, Clinton split hairs over whether getting blown by an intern in your office constitutes "sexual relations." I think there is room for debate on that point, but clearly getting blown by an intern in your office while you're married to someone else is not a highly ethical activity, whether it constitutes "sexual relations" or not.

Our current president, W, originally said he would fire anyone involved in leaking the identity of a CIA agent. Today, according to the NYT, he said he would fire anyone who committed a crime. While I would certainly hope that is the case regardless of the current scandal, one would like to see the president perhaps take a greater interest in ethics and less of an interest in splitting linguistic hairs. The fact that Karl Rove may be able to avoid actual indictment on a technicality (he did not utter the woman's name, though he certainly did clearly indicate her as a specific, unique individual) should be immaterial at this point. What Rove did was highly unethical, and how the president deals with the situation shines a bright light into his true character.

By changing his promise, Bush is essentially allowing unlimited room for having his staff filled with unethical manipulators of the law. As long as they know how to keep from being indicted, it does not matter to W how dirty or slimy or sleazy they may be.

In a world where a college football coach is fired for the ethical misstep of joining a basketball pool, and a basketball coach can be fired for having gone to a perfectly legal topless bar, it seems to me that perhaps we might consider raising the ethical standards for our elected officials.

I agree that Bush should fire anyone that has committed a crime on his staff. Isn't it a little troubling, though, that the NCAA has a stronger code of ethics than the white house?

monday haiku

empty, hot darkness
pale voices adrift outside
one pillow vacant

Not white, not Christian... not registered to vote?

My jaw dropped, and I had to read this quotation over three times to be sure I'd gotten it right. A CNN.com article quoted president Bush's homeland security adviser, Fran Townsend, from an interview she gave on "Fox News Sunday":

The war in Iraq, she said, attracts terrorists there "where we have a fighting military and a coalition that can take them on and not have the sort of civilian casualties that you saw in London."

On July 9th alone, at least 9 Iraqi civilians were killed by violent attacks. Car bombs and mortar attacks routinely are killing groups of five, ten, twenty Iraqi civilians. These incidents and statistics are not created by a liberal media but are real: civilians are being killed every day by terrorist insurgents in Iraq.

That must be why Townsend qualified her statement with the short phrase, "the sort." You don't have "the sort" of civilian casualties when the terrorists are blowing people up in Iraq that you have when they're blowing people up in London. One wonders what she meant by that. I would think that civilian casualties amounted to dead innocents no matter where they happened. Perhaps she meant that dead Iraqi civilians are different because they're not white. or maybe because they're not Christian. Or maybe because they're in a different time zone, or speak a different language, or eat different sorts of foods. Or maybe because they can't vote for Republicans.

With those two words, Townsend defined the Bush homeland security policy more clearly than Bush has ever done himself. Clearly, Bush's policy of "taking the fight to the terrorists" supposes that people who aren't citizens of his country are less valuable. OK, I admit that it's his job to take that approach, and I can't fault him entirely for it. But it is a terribly cynical and un-American way to approach the world.

Perhaps it's no different than any administration has attempted to do in a hundred years. Perhaps Bush and his staff are just more clumsy and less subtle about how they go about it.

But it's a dangerous policy because some day the terrorists will wise up and realize that they're fighting an army in a place that American citizens don't see as having actual people and children and mothers and brothers and cousins and shopkeepers and librarians and teachers and all other types of regular folks living there. Civilian deaths in Iraq simply don't have any impact on the psyche of the average American. At least, not today.

Bush's policy banks on two things: First, that Americans will never grow to care about Iraqi civilians. (I think this is actually a pretty good bet.) Second, that the "insurgents" will stay in Iraq, getting killed by the best-trained and best-equipped military in the world. That, I think, is not a very good bet. Now, I understand that the insurgents won't be able to charter a flight and just show up at LAX, but all it takes is a few to cause the kind of havoc and death and destruction in our own towns that we saw last week in London.

Perhaps it's enough just to keep them busy until our homeland security is improved. Perhaps the short-term tactic of war in Iraq is just a first step in a much longer and more complex strategy. I have a hard time believing that.

No, I think the simpler answer is more likely. The Bush administration is simply hoping that by having soldiers in Iraq, we will keep the terrorists busy there while obese Americans happily watch "The Bachelor" and believe that no regular civilian people are being hurt in Iraq.

happy anniversary to us

Fifteen years. Seems like a long time, and I guess it is. It will be another eight years before I've been married half my life. I haven't lived in any one house for fifteen years. Last year was my 15th year college reunion (which I did not attend). This is the 20th year reunion for high school, which I will attend.

I will have been married 25 years when I'm 48, and 50 years when I'm 73. I remember attending my grandparents' 50th anniversary party when I was small, but mostly it comes to me through hazy memories of photographs and a vague feeling that I had fun with my cousins while everyone else did the grown-up party thing. I want to say there was some Hawaiian theme, or maybe the memories and photos get mixed in my head and it was just that someone wore a Hawaiian shirt or everyone wore leis. I think I had to dress up--that meant a button-down shirt and a belt with my chinos.

I won't go gushing and goo-goo about how much I love my wife and how wonderful she is--anyone reading this knows that already, and after all you don't get to 15 years without a tremendous amount of love, a bit of good luck, and some hard work.

Happy anniversary to us, sweetie. Here's to the next 15 and the 50 after that.

too cool for me

I hate people who think they are witty and cool. They tend to think everyone else also thinks they're witty and cool when in fact they are simply tediously self-interested. They should read this [pdf].

Happy Independence Day

Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.
-- Benjamin Franklin

Freedom of religion, freedom of the press, and freedom of person under the protection of habeas corpus, and trial by juries impartially selected. These principles form the bright constellation which has gone before us, and guided our steps through an age of revolution and reformation.
-- Thomas Jefferson, 1801

Freedom is always and exclusively freedom for the one who thinks differently.
-- Rosa Luxemburg

The freedom to share one’s insights and judgments verbally or in writing is, just like the freedom to think, a holy and inalienable right of humanity that, as a universal human right, is above all the rights of princes.
-- Carl Friedrich Bahrdt

Freedom in art, freedom in society, this is the double goal towards which all consistent and logical minds must strive.
-- Victor Hugo

Freedom is hammered out on the anvil of discussion, dissent, and debate.
-- Hubert Humphrey

To preserve the freedom of the human mind … and freedom of the press, every spirit should be ready to devote itself to martyrdom; for as long as we may think as we will, and speak as we think the condition of man will proceed in improvement. The generation which is going off the stage has deserved well of mankind for the struggles it has made, and for having arrested the course of despotism which had overwhelmed the world for thousands and thousands of years. If there seems to be danger that the ground they have gained will be lost again, that danger comes from the generation your contemporary. But that the enthusiasm which characterizes youth should lift its parricide hands against freedom and science would be such a monstrous phenomenon as I cannot place among possible things in this age and country.
-- Thomas Jefferson, 1799

Our liberty depends on the freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited without being lost.
-- Thomas Jefferson

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
-- Mark Twain

... a discriminating irreverence is the creator and protector of human liberty.
-- Mark Twain

God grant, that not only the Love of Liberty, but a thorough Knowledge of the Rights of Man, may pervade all the Nations of the Earth, so that a Philosopher may set his Foot anywhere on its Surface, and say, “This is my Country.”
-- Benjamin Franklin

Without Freedom of Thought, there can be no such Thing as Wisdom; and no such Thing as publick Liberty, without Freedom of Speech.
-- Benjamin Franklin

“Well, Doctor, what have we got—a Republic or a Monarchy?”
“A Republic, if you can keep it.”
-- Response attributed to B. Franklin at the close of the Constitutional Convention

What vast additions to the conveniences and comforts of living might mankind have acquired, if the money spent in wars had been employed in works of public utility; what an extension of agriculture even to the tops of our mountains; what rivers rendered navigable, or joined by canals; what bridges, aqueducts, new roads, and other public works, edifices, and improvements ... might not have been obtained by spending those millions in doing good, which in the last war have been spent in doing mischief.
-- Benjamin Franklin

A vacation would be good right now

I could really use three or four weeks in a mountain cabin on a lake right now. Or maybe a couple weeks in a cottage in the English countryside. Any place I could sit for hours watching nature and hearing silence; any place I could walk in the woods and fields and feel the sky on my neck and the world in my breath and life tingling just beyond my fingertips. Any place I could forget everything and just be.

I have some magnetic poetry up on my filing cabinet at the office. I got it at a United Way conference, so of course it is filled with inspirational words such as 110%, happy, winner, successful, soar. My favorite creation that came together and which draws the most compliments is this:

I
expect
to
quit
today

I also like these:

your dreams limit my success

and

me
achieve
happy
time

I don't think that's what United Way expected when they gave me the pack, but that's what creativity is about, yes?

happy birthday to me

1,738 and counting. These valiant souls will never celebrate another birthday. Bring the rest of them home.

What's in a name?

Conservative? Liberal? Democrat? Republican?

I've noticed that when people I know want to criticize a position held by Democrats, they call it "Liberal." When they want to criticize a position held by Republicans, they call it "Republican." Similarly, when Republicans want to de-Republican something they support, they call it a "conservative" item and the people who promote it "conservatives" instead of Republicans.

Just this weekend, a close family member said, "I didn't realize how liberal you are." The term liberal in this use meant "anti-Bush." While I am vehemently, rabidly, unashamedly, frothing-mouth anti-Bush, I would hardly classify myself as a liberal. I believe in limited government. I believe in separation of powers. I believe in security and the role of a strong military as well as the need for spies, covert operations outside our borders, and spending on military technology. But mostly I believe that government would best serve the people by focusing on important things relating to governing such as security, commerce, and education. Stuck me with a liberal label yet?

How about this: I believe that while government should strive to provide an equal opportunity for all citizens, I don't believe government should be responsible for providing an equal outcome for all citizens. Government must make quality education available and accessible to all, but government is not responsible for giving them jobs or feeding them if they choose to eschew their opportunities. Doesn't sound very tax-and-spend, tree-hugging, welfare-state liberal, does it?

Furthermore, while government must set certain limits for the common good, government should not dictate any individual's decisions on personal things. This includes where they choose to live, what faith they choose to have, what friends they choose, what car they drive, what clothes they wear, what career they choose, what they do in their bedrooms, and whether they choose to procreate or not. Government should not be a vehicle for one group of people to impose their personal choices or beliefs on everyone else.

Government should be concerned with only a very few things: Protection of all citizens and property, enablement of commerce, provision of justice, and promotion of the general welfare. Oh yes: And protection from the government itself.

Am I a dyed-in-the-wool liberal yet? Or, would you say I was a conservative? I suppose neither at this point, as both terms really describe a person's approach to the goals outlined above, not the goals themselves. Very well.

I believe taxes are necessary. I believe people with more money should bear a greater burden than people with less money, though not a disproportionately greater burden. I believe that people who do not work should not be given money by the government, except as a short-term stopgap (i.e., I dislike welfare but think unemployment insurance is a good thing). I believe that all children should be ensured the opportunity for a high quality education. I believe that government should provide basic infrastructure (roads, telecommunications, etc.). I believe the tax code should be so simple it can be read in its entirety while sitting in a cafe on a sunny afternoon; tax subsidies and special classes should be eliminated. I believe the government should make commerce easy (reduced regulation) while ensuring corporations do not engage in fraud, chicanery, or predatory practices. I believe the government should educate consumers and citizens while staying out of their personal decisions, unless and until those personal decisions affect the overall welfare of the citizenry at large. (An example is the obesity epidemic--government should participate in education to change Americans' behavior but should not regulate industries such as fast food; an educated consumer will make the choices that are right for them, and industry will respond to market pressures.)

Am I sounding like a liberal yet? Or maybe a conservative? Democrat? Republican? Yeah, I can't decide either.

How about this: I am pro-choice. I think gays should be allowed to get married and receive all the social and legal status that heterosexuals get from the same ritualistic rite. I think it was a good thing to protect the spotted owl. I don't want to see oil drilling in new places such as the Alaskan wildlife area or the coast of southern California. I don't like the idea of allowing the Sierras to be clear-cut for timber. I think Social Security can offer a good way to achieve an economy of scale and provide a useful service to millions of Americans who otherwise would end up as old people with no money. I would like to see "under God" removed from the Pledge of Allegiance, and "In God We Trust" removed from our currency. I believe citizens should have the right to own and operate firearms and, with serious licensing, even assault weapons. I think marijuana should be legalized and taxed just like cigarettes and alcohol. (As long as you're not putting anyone in danger, you can use it.)

The point of all this is that while I am staunchly, rabidly, blood-boilingly, incoherently anti-Bush, I am not "A Liberal," as used by the Republicans who have read my blog or talked politics with me. In fact, if they could get past the fact that I think W is Bad News, they would see that they agree with many of the basic tenets that I use to define my political positions. And if they would stop categorizing everyone who is not a Republican as a Liberal, they may just see that I am not even anti-Republican. I am, however, completely opposed to certain planks of the Republican platform (the anti-gay, anti-woman, anti-choice ones in particular).

Furthermore, I think this is true with most of my friends and colleagues. We hate the approach that Bush & Co. are taking because he is a tool of the Christian fundamentalists and corporate robber barons, but we are not so far left that we consider ourselves liberals. And this is how Bush won reelection. He divided the country into Republicans and Liberals; one remains the name of a political party, but the other is a definition of one's character. If you identify with parts of both groups, which label are you more likely to bristle at? Obviously, the one that defines your character.

I am proud to be neither a Republican nor a Liberal. I am not required to follow in goose-step or lock-step to the drumbeat of some prescribed platform. Unfortunately, this limits the power of my vote because I am not part of any bloc. Therefore, I fight against the darkness that grows in the East by simply opposing it as best I can.

And still I shake my head and wonder how any self-respecting, educated person can allow themselves to be led by George W. Bush. He has lied to the American people, has spent billions on a tragic mistake of a war, has destroyed decades of environmental protections (within which business flourished quite fine, thankyouverymuch), has increased global terrorism, has jailed a reporter for refusing to divulge an anonymous source, and continues to attempt to codify discrimination against a legitimate minority class. This is NOT a president who is interested in the tenets of conservatives. This IS a president who is pushing a progressive agenda of the Christian far-right.

So, those of you who read this and still support Bush. Look at the facts of his administration. Job loss, crappy economy, growing world hatred of America, over 1,700 American soldiers dead and thousands others permanently maimed, growing world terrorism, billions spent on the war, a more divided country than ever before. Things are not going well. Bush has the lowest approval rating of any second-term president in a long, long time.

After you've looked at the facts, tell me why you still support him. I would bet that it's because you feel aligned to his faith. You like the fact that he has a strong Christian morality behind everything he does. And also, you're afraid. You're afraid that putting a Liberal in his place might cause Osama to blow up more American buildings. You're afraid that taxes will go up. You're afraid that America will turn into a hedonistic cesspool of porn, drugs, and fags and that corporate America will be taxed and regulated into oblivion. Because if a liberal is put in charge, God help us all.

I am willing to admit that I could vote for a John McCain for president in 2008, depending on the alternatives. Could you ever see yourself voting for a Democrat? Can you see the difference between a Democrat and a liberal? Can you see the difference between a Republican and the Christian far-right? Which one are you?

Hiding the Report Card

When you were a kid, did you get to bring home only the comments section of your report card? Of course not. Commentary on report cards is meant to be uplifting, to soften the blow of miserable grades. Parents, rightly, want to see the scores.

The Bush administration (the State Department, specifically), is about to bring home their 2004 report card for the War On Terror, and they have just announced they won't share the grades. Last year they got caught changing the grades, so this year they simply erased them.

The fact is that our Security President is losing the "war on terror," which he started. The report showed, before the statistics were erased, that significant global terrorism incidents (civilians attacked in acts of terror) increased from 172 incidents in 2003 to 655 in 2004. Nearly a four-fold increase in terrorism in one year. Most of the increase is reported to be in Iraq (no big surprise). Let's see... who started the war in Iraq? And what was the purpose of the war? To decrease terrorism. That's right!

Nice one, prez.

More disturbing than the utter failure of the war on terror so far is the fact that the government is hiding information from us. From you. From me. Do you feel safer when your government lies to you? When your government wants to know everything about you but hides statistics it knows to be true about its own performance?

The very essence of a free government consists in considering offices as public trusts, bestowed for the good of the country, and not for the benefit of an individual or a party. -- John Caldwell Calhoun

The Founding Fathers gave the free press the protection it must have [to] bare the secrets of government and inform the people. -- Hugo L. Black

Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people and sending them off to distant lands to die of foreign fevers and foreign shot and shell. -- Hugo L. Black

... government in order to protect itself from the political consequences of its errors and wrongs is driven irresistibly without peace to greater and greater control of the nation’s press and platform. -- Herbert Hoover

A popular Government, without popular information, or the means of acquiring it, is but a Prologue to a Farce or a Tragedy. -- James Madison

Doctors find massive brain damage

Is there really anyone left in this country who supports Bush? I mean besides the people who are obsenely wealthy, the people who work directly for him, the corporate robber barons, and the severely brain damaged.

No weapons of mass destruction. No significant biological or chemical weapons. No connection between Iraq and 9/11. The Downing Street Memo. The Downing Street Memo Again. Mission Accomplished. The Extremely Secret energy policy council. Cheney telling a senior member of Congress to go f*** himself. No-bid contracts with Halliburton, who then overcharged the government tens of millions of dollars. Over 1,700 American soldiers dead. Countless Iraqi civilians and soldiers dead. Iraq sliding into a civil war. Osama bin Laden still at large. The federal deficit spiraling out of control. One of the worst job creation statistics for any American president in history. Proposing a constitutional amendment expressly for the purpose of discriminating against a certain segment of American citizens. Unable to move his own agenda forward despite having HIS party in charge of BOTH houses of Congress. And now proved completely wrong on Terri Schaivo.

If the Swift Boat Veterans were really For Truth, they would be demanding a full investigation into the two Downing Street memos. If the American media were not so scared of being Dan Rathered or Newsweeked, they would be trumpeting that information and explaining it to the electorate.

Where is the outrage in this country? Why are people not absolutely shocked that our president is abusing his authority and position so grossly? Are we so numb to corruption and incompetence that we expect it at the highest levels? I hate this saying, but it's true: No one died when Clinton lied, yet he was impeached. IMPEACHED! Bush has lied to the American public many times, yet so far not even a whisper about investigating his actions. Where is Kenneth Starr?

Bush should not only be impeached, but he should be tried for murder and war crimes. He illegally invaded a sovereign nation and thereby has caused the deaths of tens of thousands of people and spent over $200 billion of American taxpayer money (so far). He decided to go kill people, then made up a reason to do it. That's what the Downing Street memos say.

Meanwhile, tens of thousands are dying in Darfur under a policy of genocide and institutionalized torture and rape. What does Bush do? Nothing.

And those of you who think Bush is tough on terrorism: Do you feel safer when you go into the city, go to the shopping mall, ride a commuter train, pass by a shipping port, walk past a federal building? I certainly don't. In San Francisco, the only change in security on BART (the local commuter train) is that they closed all the underground bathrooms and put up a few signs asking people to report strange things. The "security president" hasn't made any one of us safer. The "education president" has No Child Left Behind, but anecdotal evidence suggests more children are being left behind than ever before.

It's just insane to me how anyone could continue to think that Bush is doing anything even remotely close to a good job. And I think a strong case should be made for his impeachment. (Cheney too.)

Can you tell me how to get, how to get to...

Congress is threatening, this time for real, to pull all public funding from PBS and NPR. Without PBS America would not have Baseball, Jazz, or The Civil War. Without NPR America would have no Fresh Air. Can you imagine a world where Sesame Street, Car Talk, and Talk of the Nation are mere memories? Can you envision a world where educational children's television consists of Dragonball-Z and Rugrats? OK, so maybe we could dump Teletubbies and Antiques Roadshow, but keep the guy who used to paint the nature scenery oil paintings in three minutes. That was wicked.

I donate to NPR and PBS because I think the programming is interesting and educational. Commercial channels pander to the lowest common denominator--history shows are only about battles, human interest stories are about celebrities and athletes, news is cookie-cutter filler the same from one station to the next. NPR has a show called "All Things Considered"--perhaps Fox News will replace it with "A Few Things As Spun By Republicans." Not quite the same ring.

PBS and NPR should be considered national treasures, not expendable budget items. Sign the petition to save these national treasures now.

Read more here.

Sunny Day
Sweepin' the clouds away
On my way to where the air is sweet

Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to Sesame Street

Come and play
Everything's A-OK
Friendly neighbors there
That's where we meet

Can you tell me how to get
How to get to Sesame Street

It's a magic carpet ride
Every door will open wide
To Happy people like you--
Happy people like
What a beautiful

Sunny Day
Sweepin' the clouds away
On my way to where the air is sweet

Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to Sesame street...

How to get to Sesame Street

How to get to...

IMPEACH BUSH NOW

And while you're at it, fire all the editors of the major "news" papers and TV channels in the US. Disgraceful. Bush and his staff should resign immediately. If they do not, then the Congress has to find the nugget of integrity that must still be somewhere buried deep within their souls, and they must impeach him.

Read this. And this.
Then, sign this.

This is not about the opinion of the rest of the world. This is about the integrity and honor of the United States, and the mission of our country as the world's solitary superpower (for the moment). Bush is a playground bully who simply does not care how many American soldiers die for his lies. He is an elitist power broker who sells political favors to corporate barons. Bush represents the worst of American aristocracy. If that's what you support, then ignore this issue. If, however, you believe that the mission of the United States is one of honor, of righteousness, of peace, of diversity and inclusion and prosperity for all, then you must support Bush's impeachment.

Then, pity and mourn for these people and their families.

don't forget your shorts

It sucks to stand in the locker room at 8 a.m. on a Monday, mooning the stoic bank of empty lockers behind you, while you claw through your gym bag looking for shorts. Towel, you got. Workout shirt and even socks and sneakers. But you'll be damned if you're going to go work out in jeans. You flirt with the idea of going out there in just your boxers. After all, you're only going to be lifting weights, mostly shoulders and arms today anyway. You won't be doing jumping jacks or other floppy exercises.

Fortunately, the Monday morning fog clears enough to realize you are not going to go out there in just your boxers.

Welcome to the working week. I know it don't thrill you; I hope it don't kill you. Welcome to the working week.

Yet another sad day...

1,674 and counting.

And now, when you get very sick, the government wants to shove a feeding tube down your throat to keep you alive, but they won't let you get relief from the pain and nausea while they forcibly keep you alive.

Getting older

For a few years I've suspected I'm getting older. You would think the occasional birthdays might tip me off, or the steady retreat of what courageous hair I have left. No, it took a Crayola crayon in a Mexican restaurant to make me see clearly. Or rather, to make me realize that I wasn't.

Time for me to get my eyes checked (or maybe I'll wait until next year since our medical insurance is crap).

The experience was unique for me. If I held the crayon at about 14 inches from my eyes, the writing was clear. Farther away it was still clear. Move it to 13 inches, though, and suddenly it wobbled and weaved like some drug scene in a movie from the early seventies. Granted, it was about six point type, maybe smaller, but that was a rude moment for me, the guy with 20-20 vision and never a single cavity or broken bone. I tan good, too.

I've felt myself taking longer to get over the soreness of Sunday soccer games. But to have a body part actually start failing in its regular function, that's new to me. And I'm not even 40 yet.

Black truth at arm's length
"Amarillo" I think--yes
I was younger once

Hero or Traitor?

Last night Deep Throat was on TV. No, it wasn't a new Fox reality show (but it can't be far off) but the old nemesis of our very own Richard M. Nixon. The local news led the story with the teaser, "Hero or Traitor?"

It occurs to me that they've missed the point. They've all missed the point. In this era of "you're with us or you're with the terrorists," everyone is very eager to choose sides, to force you to be in one camp or another. If you're not a Bush Republican, then you're a liberal girly-man. If you don't sport a "support our troops" magnet on your car, then you're a terrorist-loving, Newsweek-reading, Dan Rather-watching traitor. If you watch Fox News Channel, then you're a weak-minded pawn of the religious Right.

But reasonable, educated people understand that that is not the truth in America. The American truth is one of nuance, of living in the gray area and acknowledging all the shades of white to black and all the hues of the rainbow. The American truth is one where a person can be a hero while doing traitorous things, or a traitor while acting heroically.

The American truth is one which gets reinterpreted over time. Who today knows that John Dickinson's use of "by uniting we stand, by dividing we fall" meant not that the colonies should unite in rebellion against British tyranny but that the colonies should unite to negotiate with the crown in order to stay part of the British empire? Yet the phrase was used by the colonists as a rallying cry to unite in rebellion. Nuance. Starting from the same place yet ending up with very different results.

This is America's past and its heritage. It is America's strength. Hero? Traitor? Hero and traitor. It's a paradox and ambiguous duality (multiplicity?) with which the extreme left and the extreme right are extremely uncomfortable.

Cal gets snubbed again

The BCS fiasco was bad enough last winter when Cal was cheated out of a Rose Bowl appearance at the 11th hour by unscrupulous Big XII coaches who knew they would get a larger share of the bowl revenues if they voted Texas in and Cal out.

Now the Bears have again been snubbed--this time in baseball. How does a team that has a better overall record, better conference record and higher conference standing get left out of the postseason while a team that performed less well gets invited? The Bears were 34-23 overall and 13-11 in the Pac-10. Stanford, meanwhile, were just 32-23 and 12-12 in the Pac-10. The two teams split the season series, 3 wins each. The Bears had just completed a 2-1 series win over top-10 ranked Arizona on the road. No Pac-10 team with 13 conference wins has been left out of the postseason since the NCAA went to the super-regional format. No Pac-10 team with a .500 conference record has ever been invited.

Until now. The Bears at 13-11 were left out while Stanford at 12-12 were invited.

I just don't get it.

1,654 And Counting

1,654 and counting. Happy Memorial Day.
Updated on Memorial Day: 1,657 and counting. Happy Memorial Day.

that's not what I meant...

I know some people are used to having two, three, or more chat windows open with friends. I have only four chat buddies, two of whom literally never log in. Today's DoubleMint moment, though, was when my other two buddies buzzed me at exactly the same instant. Even better, they were both women. And single. (I think they're the only two single women I know, apart from the cantankerous single mom next door.)

Each had her own serious issue to discuss. One is considering a nomadic life, packing up the children into the wagon and heading off in search of... something different, I guess. The other is considering a job switch and wanted some honest feedback on whether her writing was really as good as some of her other friends claim.

While this was not the original implementation I had in mind when first I contemplated two women at the same time, still I was flattered that they both asked for my thoughts. I will say my fingers were flying--I probably maintained 120 words a minute for extended periods. I love this instant message thing; it's probably the only medium where I can get more words into a conversation than two women combined.

What's my point? I have none. This is just pre-holiday-weekend timekilling for me. And another ten minutes of your life squandered.

The "big picture"

Last week I got my very first published photo credit. In the local Sunday newspaper. It wasn't a particularly good photo; in fact, I took it with my cell phone. The image, however, was clear: a sign hanging on a school door that read, "Testing -- Do Not Distrub."

I would like to say this sign hung on a door in the Stanford school of education, but alas it was on the door of a room at my kid's elementary school. Keep in mind, the teacher whose door sported the sign is highly competent and well respected, and the school is in the top 5% of all schools in California. It enjoys tremendous parent support and has few of the serious budget woes of our neighbors just a mile or two away in Concord. That is, the students have plenty of books, pencils, paper, chalk, and art supplies. Thus, it's obviously a simple typo made by overworked and underpaid people who have far better things to worry about.

Now, would you believe it, I appear to have been labeled as some sort of mean-spirited, anti-teacher miscreant whose only hobby is to skulk around the school looking for proof of incompetence. Maybe it's not quite that bad, but it seems a lot of people are talking smack about me... but not to me. This despite my being receiving an honorary service award for the volunteer time I spend at the school.

I wasn't even the first to publish this photo. I sent it to a few friends, and the honor of first public display goes to a good friend's blog.

It appears I have had the misfortune to have accidentally taken sides in some strange faux feud between the teachers at the school and the newspaper. The teachers are torqued that the paper didn't send anyone to cover their recent protest of state budget cuts, so when my name appeared on a photo they decided it must be all my fault, I guess. No one bothered to ask whether I actually had any affiliation with the paper (I don't, except as a paid subscriber).

I think this all stems from the current atmosphere in America that if you're not "with us" then you're "with them." I suppose I have been deemed disloyal. I've been told I should have gone to the office staff to tell them of the minor typo and then hushed it up. Forget for the moment that the sign was displayed on at least four different occasions and that the door it hung on is directly opposite the door to the school office. Forget for the moment that apparently no one else noticed the misspelling. Forget for the moment that everyone in the world makes simple, benign, harmless mistakes, and that sometimes the results are funny. Hilarious, even. Forget for the moment that the name of the school was never associated with the photo. Forget for the moment that my wife, my father, my stepmother, and many of my friends have all been teachers and that I donate to schools every year. Forget all those things because to some people, they don't matter.

Apparently, some people at the district itself are bent out of shape because of this. Perhaps they think it hurts their image and will discredit them in their fight against state education budget cuts. Perhaps they are insulted by the paper's editorial decisions. Who knows? But one thing is clear: They are making a mountain from this molehill because they have no sense of humor and little sense of perspective.

For my part, that photo still cracks me up every time I see it.

Damn, he sure can lead!

Three stories in the news the past week illustrate clearly what a mess Bush and the Republican Congress have made and are making with Iraq and the American economy. The Democrats aren't helping much, of course, but it all begins with Bush.

Today's story in the NYT, entitled Generals Offer Sober Outlook on Iraqi War, shows just how poor the situation is in Iraq. American soldiers will be there for years, and the 23 car bomb attacks this month alone nearly equal last year's total of 25. It was over two years ago that Bush stood in front of his "mission accomplished" banner and declared the "end to major hostilities" in Iraq. Pure fantasy. Wishing does not make it so. Meanwhile, over 1,600 American troops have died, nearly five times the number killed in Desert Storm. By the way, anyone seen bin Laden recently?

The Washington Post on Friday ran a column entitled 'Emergency' End Run about the financing of the war in Iraq. With the recent "emergency" appropriation of $82 billion dollars, the cost for the Iraq war has edged up over $200 billion. This is the third year in a row that Bush has kept these numbers out of the annual budget, only to request an "emergency" allocation of scores of billions later. Which Senator is going to deny funding for troops? Which President is willfully irresponsible about paying for this war that he wanted so badly?

And yesterday, the Post had another column entitled Almost Unnoticed, Bipartisan Budget Anxiety that says that the United States economy, if we stay to our current path, will collapse in 2040, just like Argentina. This is not some left-wing nut job but top people from both the conservative Heritage Foundation and the liberal Brookings Institution, both giving the same analysis and predicting the collapse of the US economy in the mid 2040s if some pretty big things don't change soon.

Take these three things together and try to be happy. I simply do not understand how anyone can think that Bush has been a good thing for this country. He is leading us right into utter failure.

Happy Birthday to Sam!

Sam has been turning six for several days now, so tomorrow's forecast might include some birthday withdrawal. Today will be the culmination of what seems like months of planning and answering the question, "How many days til my birthday now?" His excitement has never reached a fever pitch, but it has been a constant background hum, like the sound of waves in a seashore cottage.

Kids' birthdays have apparently become a huge industry. If King George ever got a constitutional amendment outlawing birthday parties (don't be surprised--they are inherently pagan), I think the entire economy of American suburbia could collapse. Birthday parties are Big Business at pizza joints, tumbling studios, playground places, museums, and even arts & crafts stores. Parents shell out up to $50 a kid for these parties which employ not only the party coordinators but also thousands of cake bakers, pizza delivery guys, and handi-wipe sellers.

Sam, however, is having his party in a park, with a traditionally pagan pinata and lots of friends. Hopefully the weather will cooperate. Perhaps we should make a sacrifice this morning to one of the many various pagan weather spirits. We are fortunate that Sam is happy with friends, a few toys, a big place to run and play, and piles of candy. Makes for a cheap and fun party. Of course, it also is a lot more work than those prefab, drop-off-and-forget-it parties that are becoming so popular in suburbia.

So, happy birthday to Sam! Today you turn six. Now we are Very Big.

startling beauty

Today the sun set behind clouds without spectacle or color. The white sky faded through a gray gradient over the lush green of the golf course while we sat inside enjoying freshly cut tenderloin and chocolate covered strawberries and sharp conversation with elegantly casual, newly met friends. I lamented the pending lack of a sunset, and the bartender agreed and pointed out that often it is very nice from their windows. She stood facing the bar and me, her back to the gray sky.

As these things often do, this dinner became a long exercise in listening to one particular person discuss how wonderful and clever she believed herself to be. I already was engaged in enduring a mild stomach ailment and didn't really want to talk anyway, so I persevered in silence, sneaking glances at the darkening grayness outside, the occasional putter finishing the 18th green, and the low necklines of the women at nearby tables. Smiles and knowing nods kept the words flowing from across the tablecloth.

Short, squat cups arrived just after the used plates departed, and shortly coffee was brought to give them something to hold. Mine stood like a coliseum, a faded ivory bowl on a white field with glass votives sparkling on either side. Steam waltzed with the candlelight upward until both dissipated into the faded, watery twilight. Motionless and deep brown, reflecting the overhead lights in its shallow stillness, the coffee waited and released its flow of gray-white steam, not unlike a panther with eyes half-closed, twitching its tail in a tree.

I was startled. I had arrived marveling at the enormous view and disappointed that I would not see sweeping crimsons and pinks and lavenders across the sky. I sat now with an intense, lustrous beauty of white and brown and glass and fire and stillness and motion, all within inches of me, covering no more than perhaps a square foot of cloth. In that moment of awe, in that instant when simple, mundane things reveal their utmost essence all at once, that is like touching God, swimming in Nature, seeing the Tao.

tracks in the tall grass
deer feet tramp them down at night
not unlike canyons

recognition

Perhaps fifteen others also received a voluptuous yellow rose, long stem wrapped in crinkly cellophane, before dinner on Saturday night. Surprise honorees, a footnote to a dinner and auction and dancing, we all do something for our kids' school that other people think is worth some recognition.

I like getting thank-you's, and the yellow rose given to me by a tall, sexy, yellow-haired woman was a pleasant and night-warming surprise. Thank-you's, however, are not why people go out and give freely of their time, their talents, their money. My thing at the school is to try to keep the kids from getting run over as they cross the street. I guess since I do it more than other people, that qualifies me for a yellow rose. Many others give far more of their time and talent to the school, the children, every day. I do not know what they do or when they do it, but I know why.

Some might say it's an altruistic need to "give back." I think it's a need to be connected, to be a part of a community, to feel that you are a contributing member of something larger, to help create the American story in some small way.

In my job, I am very fortunate to meet people from America's greatest and most powerful companies, from banks to health care providers to consumer goods makers to pharmaceutical companies. The people I meet have a common role: They help their companies give away money and time and talent to make communities safer, healthier, better around the world.

When we get together, though, we talk numbers--$X million given, X million hours volunteered, X houses built, $X worth of medicine distributed--and it is easy to forget the small, simple stories of the countless thousands of Americans who deserve to feel the warm glow from a yellow rose on Saturday night for simply showing up where they are needed, and for simply participating in their community.

I didn't need the yellow rose or the extra thank-yous people said that night, but the fact that they were given is the true testament to American community, and that, to me, is an optimism that will never die.

Science On Trial Again

Maybe it's semantics. Maybe it's hysteria. Maybe it's a typical fundamentalist attempt to eliminate anything that seems remotely to disagree with what is written in the holy scripture. Whatever it is, it's wrong.

You can believe the Bush administration when they say that global warming doesn't exist. You can even argue the ethical merits of outlawing stem cell research. You can believe that drilling for oil is actually a good thing for the environment or that private accounts will be a better safety net for the working poor than Social Security is today. But to deny that evolution happens is similar to denying that the Earth is round and that it revolves around the Sun.

Before you get out your Blasphemer Spray to disinfect your computer so you don't get Athiest Cooties from reading this, get out your dictionary.com and understand the meaning of the word.

Biological evolution, indeed, is a fact, not a theory. Read it. If you don't read it and you send me a comment, I will laugh at you. I can't find any evidence (maybe someone will enlighten me) that evolution teaches the non-existence of God. In fact, couldn't it be possible that God is the one orchestrating evolution in the same way that Bill Gates orchestrated the changes in Windows from 3.0 to 3.1 to 95 to 98 to XP?

Throughout history, the Church has wielded its power and True Believers have ostracized, exiled, or even executed people who uttered unapproved words. This is certainly not limited to Christianity; all Religion (big "R") exists in essence to consolidate and exploit a social and political power base in order to oppress and weaken opposing social and political groups. At times, this has enlightened and lifted society up; at other times, it has stomped on education and has caused widespread war and destruction.

Evolution is a fact of nature. Religion is a creation of man. Whether God is behind either or both is a philosophical and spiritual debate that may indeed have a place in our public classrooms... but not in the science wing.

We are on the verge of dark times again, when the Church and its True Believers try to squelch free speech, try to eliminate dissenting thought, try to subjugate science, try to force all people to follow a morality dictated by a small group of hypocritical, flawed, old, white men. It is the responsibility of all educated and sane people, Christian or otherwise, to oppose censorship of ideas, whether by religious zealots, political agents, police groups, or science advocates. It is the responsibility of all people to ensure that our schools are open to all ideas and that our centers of learning help our children navigate a complex web of information by presenting real facts as real facts and separating religious dogma and political rhetoric from scientifically proven fact.

Evolution is a fact. It should be tought as such. The origin of the very first life? An open question. It should be tought as such. The nature of sentience? A tough one which science has no say on. It should be tought as such. Religion should never dictate the curriculum of our schools, and religion should never be the authority to dictate fact and fiction.

Look what results when religious fundamentalism creates and influences school curriculum.

"Energy Policy"

Thank god I was too busy with my conference this week to have to listen to more Bush stupidity.

I have a hard time believing that everyone is buying into Bush's "energy policy." It's not an energy policy, it's an economic policy for reducing gas prices, and it amounts to "Hey, let's drill more oil in American territory because that means we'll have to buy less from the Arabs and gas prices could be cheaper in a few years." I don't think he mentioned that this would have the additional benefit of reducing the amount of untouched natural habitat the country owns, thereby reducing the budget of whatever federal agency is in charge of that.

A decent energy policy would answer one question: What is the best way for the country to meet its energy needs over the next 100 years?

The answer to that question is much more complex than, "Drill more and get the Saudis to increase production." It involves significant investment into renewable energy, conservation, and technology; it requires a long-term campaign to change the screw-the-future consumption habits of Americans; it needs to address environmental and geopolitical concerns beyond oil. In essence, the energy policy of the United States should be to eliminate the use of fossil fuels by the year 2200. Can it be done? Certainly, without a doubt. Should it be done? Absolutely.

The "energy policy" put forth by this president is just like everything else he's done; it's a lame joke coated with a fine layer of sugar. It will be well received because this country will gobble up anything as long as it has a dusting of sugar.

working in a bathrooom stall

The plaza I go to at lunch sometimes is filled with people eating, talking, walking. People come and go such that over the course of an hour I may see two hundred or more. Although the crowd is mostly white office dwellers, it does have some diversity to it.

The plaza is filled with sound constantly. Trucks growl past on Second Street just a few yards away. Occasional Helicopters rumble high above, sounding like Harleys being swung on long ropes in and out of the buildings. The long, low fountains provide a constant hiss like a college football stadium heard from just outside. And the SBC building across the street hums and whines with what sounds like a thousand air conditioning units working at full capacity. It is not a quiet place. Over the din, only occasionally, you can hear other people's conversations--a barked laugh or a particular word pointed in your direction.

Everyone looks around constantly. Clearly, it is a place to observe people, yet it it also curiously private. Why, I asked myself, does this open-air plaza filled with people feel so much more private than my own cubicle back at the office, where perhaps a dozen people pass by each day?

Cubicles, I have always thought, are like bathroom stalls. They offer the illusion of privacy while exposing virtually everything about what you do. Even worse--unlike bathroom stalls, they rarely have doors and almost always announce who is inside. The tiniest sound travels right over the cube wall. Sound is omnidirectional as well, so everyone on every side hears what happens in your cube, just like everyone in the bathroom hears what happens in your stall.

The plaza, however, exposes people visually while shrouding their sounds. Since sight is unidirectional, you are not distracted by things outside your line of sight. You are not bothered by other people who may or may not be looking at you. And you can safely observe others until they catch you doing it. When they do, there is an equality because you have both been caught looking at each other. There is no resentment and little self-consiousness because you have a parity, and after all you've place yourself in a public location.

Sound is distracting. Sound comes from everywhere. Sight can be easily shut off or restricted. The plaza, I find, is a far more private location than my cubicle. Despite the presence of hundreds more people and the lack of any kind of walls.

Rather than trying to keep an office space silent, companies should provide a high level of white noise, an audio fog that will capture, muffle, strangle, and annihilate all those conversations you don't want to hear--or that you don't want others to hear.

exactly how many blogs are there out there?

blog blog blog blog blog
blog blog blog blog blog blog blog
did you read mine yet?

Blog haiku

Crowded room, white noise
Witness my enlightened truth
Hey, is this thing on?


clear-cut, barren hill
no more old growth, no new seeds
receding hairline


dark blemish growing
oozing blight on pristine scene
pen leaked in pocket


merciless hounding
beating me, unrelenting
Daddy, play star wars!

haiku (gesundheit)

sweet, wet, wretched stench
slime oozes, something sticky
take out the garbage!
. . . .

sweet, wet, wretched stench
slime oozes, something sticky
don't elect that guy!
. . . .

the big hand ticks once
one more and I'll blow my top
I hate "hold" music
. . . .

long, smooth cylinder
two double-A's bring such joy
plastic submarine
. . . .

pain, anguish released
willful fury, cold attack
pen touches blank page

Alive in the Rain

A gray, rainy day in San Francisco. Emerging from the Montgomery Street bart station, I smile at all the umbrellas going up and heads going down as people go the last few blocks of their commutes. I have a simple baseball hat and a waterproof coat, a warm, black number I've had for about three years.

People tend not to realize they are 80% wider when they have an umbrella. Their personal awnings jostle and nudge each other as they hurry down the street to get out of the depressing, cold, wet, rain.

I wish they would allow themselves not to be depressed by the rain.

I look up, close my eyes, feel the cold pinpricks of the drops. They have come all this way, from the sky, from the sunny side of the clouds, just to bring life to the growing things of the earth. The lines they cut through the gray air, the flowing hiss of their crashing to the pavement and the sidewalk and the cars rushing past--these things make me feel alive.

A tiny river hops and rolls down the gutter of Hawthorne Lane, its surface stroked with a crosshatch and vee shapes that glimmer in the flat light. I pass under an awning and feel a slight mist: second-hand rain. A woman stands outside the door of my building, trying to shake off her umbrella. I slide past into the stuffily warm, well-lighted, quiet lobby. At the elevator, another woman allows the rain that her crumpled umbrella has collected to drip off into the carpet. We smile at each other and share the ride to separate floors.

Poetry

In honor of the upcoming movie, which features Vogon poetry, here are a couple of poems I composed after sitting in trains, planes, and automobiles for about 12 hours recently.

whisper whine
rumble
a train is riding me home
I'll take it as far as I can
it'll have to go the rest of the way
by itself

My clothes went on vacation.
I'm glad they took me with them,
And I think they're glad I came along.
We went out sometimes
And saw what type of people
The local clothes had.

And to top it off, haiku:

forty-dollar steak
worth every penny I spent
it was your money

The Life of My Story

I have finished the first draft of my very first novel. I am not sure I'll ever let anyone read it, and I'm certain it's not publishable since it's not a formula sci-fi or detective or romance or etc. It's got 72,000 words, give or take. Some of them are even good words, and in a few places they're even arranged in a quite readable manner. It may even have potential to be rewritten two or three times and make it into the "handwritten-rejection-note" category.

But I am just happy to have finished it. It started November 1, 2004, as part of "National Novel Writing Month." I did indeed get to 50,000 words within the month of November, but it took me more than two months to finish the remaining 20,000 words. I don't think the last 20,000 are any higher quality than the first 50,000, alas.

The important thing, though, is having done it. I just hope I don't turn out to be the William Hung of writing, a lovably sincere but wholly incompetent hack who exposes himself (or rather, exposes his lack of talent) to the entire world.

The Story of My Life

Seems like my whole life I've done some great things but come up just a little short of the prize. As a kid, I had one astronomical year on my soccer team, but another kid was just a little bit better that year. Any other year I'd have won the MVP, but this other kid got it. Every few years something like this happens to me, and it just happened again.

I used to scoff at people who say, "Second place is first loser," but this time that's what it feels like. The prize I just missed (for my company, sworn to secrecy until the award is announced by the awarding organization) gives tons of recognition to the winner with only a little differentiation between the near-misses and the also-rans.

I don't know who won; they won't announce it for a month. And I know they must be deserving. I'm told it was essentially a dead heat, but There Can Be Only One, and once again it wasn't I. The awards we will get are some small consolation, but it's still First Loser.