January 26, 2010

Rabbit Hole Day

Lewis Carroll was born on January 27th.  The idea of blog Rabbit Hole Day is to stop making sense for 24 hours to honor the birthday of the guy who came up with Alice and the white rabbit and Cheshire Cat and all that.  I, however, take a different approach.  I honor the day not by being inane and insane but by penning a poem that attempts to mimic something.  You get to decide what it mimics.

Rekindling the Day
A pushoning wind bussed up my sails
and tautened all my lines.
I joped the jib and yanced the daels
and harkened to the signs.

The time was ripe!  The blow'ring sea
pulled at my empty heart,
and breathlessly it sang to me,
a most auspicious start.

My boat gachurtled forward
and the harbor fell behind,
as we swiftly slidled toward
the horizon sunburn-brined.

A fortnight and a month I sailed
the despelate, cold sea
til the day I thought my quest had failed
and death was nigh for me.

A moonless night had fallen black
and derkened deep my soul
when then, with a ferocious whack!
we foundered on a shoal.

Shakered and detothered
I was flung into the deep
where the water's weight besmothered
all my breath and made me sleep.

I wakened on a burgened beach
and heard a croftish weeping.
A little man just out of reach
was roundabantly leaping.

His frimpish arms and feeple beard
spashed wild in his hurry.
Possessed he seemed, with spirits weird,
so urgent was his fury.

Above him hanged as if divine
a rope straight from the sky.
He looked a little asinine,
this nimpish, little guy.

He jumped and jumped with howling wail
straight up to grasp the rope.
So small was he, 'twas no avail,
and so he lost all hope.

I asked him, "Why so glum, sir?"
And he skartled up and pointed,
shouting, "Ah! I see you've come, sir!"
And with that, I was anointed.

"You have restified my hope, sir,"
he cajortled, filled with glee.
"Would you pull down on that rope, sir?
It's to high for me, you see."

So I reached right up and took it,
grabbing tight cause it was slick.
When I pulled it, he said, "Lookit!"
and I heard a glibbous CLICK.

Then a wonder started growing
on the easting haunton sea--
the horizon started glowing,
and a warm hope rose in me.

"Ah!  You've done it!" barked the gnome,
and he laughed deep in his throat.
"Now let's send you off for home."
Then, nearby, appeared my boat.

I stepped inside and joped the main
and deeply breathed the salton air
and drank the liquid sunshine rain
as wind befrothed my finsom hair.

January 25, 2010

Changing my name

I've decided to stop being PJD and start being Peter Dudley on the web.  I've been Peter Dudley pretty much my whole life, and PJD sounds kinda stupid.  I always thought using initials was cool because my brother did it.  But he's got cool initials.  MED.  Yes, he's a doctor (though not a MEDical doctor).

You can still refer to me as PJD if you want.  Some people find change difficult.  I understand.  A lot of people had problems when Prince changed his name.

Got the catalytic converter fixed today.  Mostly Honda in Concord is a top notch place.  No matter where you live, you should take your vehicle there for repairs.  They fixed it same day, and at about 60% the price I expected.

Off to Los Angeles in the morning for a bunch of meetings.  I don't think there will be hula hooping this time, but I've heard a rumor that we'll have a big celebrity as a keynote speaker.  Someone said Shatner.  Oh, that would be so cool.  But I don't believe it.  We'll see.

I am in danger of getting glared at by the Koala this month.  I only have two submissions (unless multiple poems count, in which case I have four in January).  I'm hoping to creep up to five or six points.  But I am very scared.

I missed 3WW last week.  I hope to participate this week.  I am lame.

January 22, 2010

It was there this morning...

I am the victim of vandalism and theft.

On Tuesday I drove to the train station and parked on the fourth floor of the parking garage, like I usually do.  I went to work.  I worked.  I returned to the train station.  I got into my truck.  I turned the key.

The truck roared like a fully packed, poorly maintained, high powered semi downshifting on the Grapevine.  It roared so loud that it set off a car's alarm several spaces away.  I had to go because I had to pick up my boys from karate, so I just drove it.  I admit I was a little proud of my 16 year old junker gurgling and roaring down suburban streets.  I felt a little like a rebel.  I figured it was the muffler.  I figured someone would yell, "Midasize it!" at me.

Today I actually looked under my car and discovered that my muffler was just fine.  But something was inserted into the exhaust system that shouldn't have been:  a cleanly sliced gap where the catalytic converter should have been.

Here's where the catalytic converter should have been, with helpful red lines to show where the slices are:

And here's a photo of the actual slice in the pipe:

I spoke with BART police on the phone tonight, and the officer said mine was the second 4Runner hit in this way, in that lot, on that day.  Fargin' eyesoles.  Bastages.  I hope they catch them, string them up, draw and quarter them, boil the pieces in Tabasco, and feed them to the hundred Clarity of Night crows that like to pick at people's eyeballs and living flesh.

OK, maybe I don't hope ALL that.  But this is gonna cost me a thousand bucks to fix.  Anyone wanna buy a used, but very good condition, 1994 4Runner with only 130,000 miles?  I'll throw in an extra gap in the exhaust pipe for free.

January 13, 2010

haiku wednesday - January 13, 2010

This week's words are

A wacky couple of months has kept me from 3WW. And, due to the Clarity of Night contest, I will be unable to make the 3WW rounds this week; my apologies!

zeal of teenage boys
speed, slide, skid, crash, jolt to stop
red ribbon stains snow

a jolt of color
sky's ribbon arc fuels their zeal
they seek pots of gold

jolt my memories
long gone youthful zeal returns
scented hair ribbon

January 12, 2010

Gilbertson and Willingham were, apparently, unavailable

Lane Kiffin. USC. Is there a Pac-10 team that doesn't think this is a dream combination?

January 6, 2010

flash fiction contest -- enter now!

I have just sent in my entry to Jason Evans' flash fiction contest at his Clarity of Night blog. The rules and submission guidelines indicate prizes, formatting, and deadline. When he posts my entry to his site, I'll update with a link. I hope you all will enter--how hard is it to write a 250 word story from a photo prompt?

Although I plan on reading every entry, if you enter please comment on this post and let me know what # yours is.