Five truths about online charity auctions in the workplace

Recently my second blog post on CSR Wire hit the internet. It's a sum-up of a few things I've learned about running an online auction for charitable purposes.

I hate online auctions. They generate more risk than money, take a ton of time and effort to build and maintain, and get people into a lather about the most inane things. I have spoken to a few workplace giving managers who said they successfully killed their online auctions. I will have to learn how they did it.

Read it here:
The things I've learned from running our online auction

Adventures in formalwear

This weekend I'm attending my first black tie event in... many, many years. So of course I have to rent a tuxedo. Ever since I moved to California back in 1985, the place to rent your tux was Selix Formalwear. I remember for my fraternity formal, a bunch of us went to the one in Oakland and laughed about the Miami Vice pastels, ultimately settling (of course) on basic black.

So I sought out Selix and found one just a few miles away in Pleasant Hill, three weeks ago. Went in, got fitted, left a deposit, arranged to pick up the tux on Wednesday, February 18. Since we're flying to Los Angeles on Friday the 20th, this would cleverly give us one day for adjustments if necessary.

Wednesday the 18th comes. It's been a busy week. We rush over to Selix after work, arriving at 6:30 a full half hour before their closing time of 7 p.m. But they're closed. With a sign saying they'd be back at 10 a.m.

WTF?

So of course I did what any rational, angry person would: I tweeted about it.

It says 7 p.m. closing time RIGHT THERE.

I googled them and called the number that came up in the search results, but of course it was a fax machine. What the Fax, google. Seriously.

Then I went to the Selix web site and found this lovely note:

Um.

Wut.

We have less than 48 hours before our flight to Los Angeles, and the place that has my deposit and measurements is now in receivership. Lovely.

Long story short, Orlando at Men's Wearhouse in Walnut Creek set me up in under an hour. I ended up buying a tux for not that much more than a rental. Now all I have to do is either find more formal events to attend, or join the British Secret Service.

Walther PPK not included in base model.

I registered peterdudley.com before this year's high school graduating class was born

Geoworks Ensemble, Signature Edition
and GEOS Software Development Kit

I recently checked the whois entry on my personal domain, peterdudley.com, and I discovered that I first registered it on December 9, 1997. Seventeen years ago. That was when domain names were still free to register and hosting services essentially gave you space on a Unix server. The rest was up to you.

I was also still working at Geoworks back then. The GEOS software still lives on at www.breadbox.com, it seems, which is a wonderful and curious thing to me. I still think the engineers that developed that software were among the smartest and cleverest people I have ever known.

I was Product Manager and
all I got was this certificate.

I had many jobs at Geoworks. I was hired as a technical writer and got my start in management there; I was product manager for software and content development tools, and I think I still have my product requirements document from Geoworks Bindery, a WYSIWYG content editor that made it (relatively) easy to create hyperlinked documents for the desktop systems and mobile devices we were deploying.

It was a fun time, and a difficult uphill climb in a brand new market. Our CEO coined the term "Personal Digital Assistant" (PDA).

I still have some of the products we developed, including the Signature Edition of Geoworks Ensemble and the Software Development Kit, in their shrinkwrap. Also Geoworks Writer, the standalone release of the word processor which is still better than Microsoft Word (okay maybe not after 17 years). And I have three pieces of hardware our operating system ran on:

Casio Zoomer/Z-PDA

The Zoomer came out in 1992, at basically the same time as the Apple Newton. Together, these handheld computers led the way into the future we have today. The handwriting recognition was spotty at best--Zoomer used true handwriting recognition, and Newton used "graffiti," a specially designed stroke set that worked better but took some learning. Both were market flops but huge technological and societal successes.

Zoomer with its top open and its stylus beside it.

HP OmniGo

This HP handheld computer was, I believe, the first to have a screen that rotated, allowing you to use it in different situations. It was designed with field use in mind, and at least a couple of prototype applications were developed for medical and fleet use. This was supposed to be an extension of the existing successful HP product line, and it accomplished many of HP's goals but never sold enough to get HP to invest in further models.

Closed!

Open!

Proof that I was there!

Nokia 9000i

Not long after the Nokia 9000 was launched in Europe and the Nokia 9000i was developed for the United States, I was laid off from Geoworks and Nokia hired me as a contractor for a year to help them promote the product and support software developers around the world. Part of my contract work was to build one of my first corporate web sites. Unfortunately, if I wanted to keep working for Nokia after my contract was up, I had to move to Irving, Texas, and that was not going to happen. Anyway, the Nokia 9000 featured in the movie The Saint with Val Kilmer (and more notably Elisabeth Shue), and I got to travel to some pretty cool places in my work for Nokia including Tampere, Finland. The Nokia people were incredibly nice. The Nokia product was groundbreaking in its own way, combining real computing power with a phone. Pretty incredible for the time, even though we take it for granted today.

It's a phone!

It's a computer!

Proof that I was there!

It was a great time and a lot of fun. I imagine the people who are in the 3D printing industry have a similar feeling of unlimited future potential right now. And well they should. After all, look at those products of just 20 years ago and imagine where 3D printing could be in 20 years. That's not so far off.

Serenaded in special ways, or how I got the name "Birthday Guy"

My dad and stepmom always call and sing "happy birthday" to us on our special days. This year they were a day late for me--they called Friday--but it didn't matter since they would only be singing to my voicemail anyway.

Over the years I've had some very special birthday songs. Nothing so unique or quite as special as this, but there are three that come especially to mind.

The car that needed new tires.
The tree fell shortly after the
new tires were installed.

About fifteen years ago when our first son was only a toddler, my car desperately needed new tires. I mean, those tires were balder than I am now. So we went to Concord and, while we waited for the installation, we ate brunch at a nearby Denny's. The manager, a middle aged guy with an impressive comb-over as I recall, was so genuinely excited that he gathered the entire morning staff to sing a new birthday song he'd just trained them on. He told one busboy to start them off; the poor kid looked utterly befuddled and mumbled, in no particular key or melody, "Um... zippidy, zippidy... um..."
The manager leapt in, took charge, and led his somewhat reluctant staff in a chorus of, "Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, Zip-a-dee-ay, my oh my it's your birthday."

I haven't been back to that Denny's since. Or, come to think of it, any Denny's.

Three years ago, my birthday fell on the day we drove the Boy Scout troop up to scout camp. According to tradition, the troop stopped for breakfast in Stockton (America's Foreclosure Capital) at Burger King. Somewhere along the way, one of the boys found out it was my birthday and bought me a slice of BK's apple pie. The whole troop (about 30 boys and a half dozen adults) sang "ha
ppy birthday" to me right there at 8 a.m. in Burger King in Stockton. Try to contain your jealousy.

This year on my birthday, I was in Palm Springs for work. One of the programs I run at my day job utilizes Desert Arc, a nonprofit that employs developmentally disabled adults, for order fulfillment. It's a terrific organization, and we were on site for business when dear friend and colleague Melissa disappeared for a bit and returned with two huge sheet cakes. One said Thank you Desert Arc for the work they do, and the other said Happy Birthday Peter. We brought these in to the 60 or so Desert Arc clients who were working on our program. And, for a few minutes, I was the recipient of the most enthusiastic, emphatic, and raucous chorus of "happy birthday" you've ever heard.

And I made a couple of new friends, most notably "Robin," who said she's going to call me Birthday Guy from now on.

the six keys to a breakthrough business blog post

I don't read a lot of business blogs. Business blogs are like cable TV: content gets created solely to fill empty bandwidth. This results in posts like Being on time can be improve punctuality or Lunch is your employees' most important midday meal.

(Note to self: Write those posts.)

Unlike cable TV, however, business blogs occasionally feature some incredibly insightful and thought-provoking ideas. Most of these ideas drown pointlessly in a sea of jargon, buzzwords, and passive voice. (Too many businesspeople learned communication in business school.)

Most of you know that I write novels. With writing, I've put in my 10,000 hours and then some. Surprisingly, that doesn't diminish the respect I get in my day job, where I run some of the biggest and most complex workplace giving and corporate volunteer programs in the country.

Being #1 five years in a row puts a guy in demand. Thus, as co-chair of the advisory council for the Charities @Work conference, I've written a few blog posts about employee engagement and what the millennial generation are looking for. I was a little surprised when these posts got picked up by more than one CSR news feed, and each link was tweeted or retweeted to over 60,000 Twitter users.

What drove that response? I think it was these six things:

1. Be interesting

Don't talk yourself into thinking your topic is interesting if it really isn't. Has it been done a hundred times before? Does it just rephrase something that's already commonly understood? Then for the love of all that is Strunk and White (see item #3 below), don't post it.

Your idea probably is not revolutionary. Revolutionary ideas are as rare as a Tea Party candidate on the Berkeley City Council. But every good idea has a twist; grab that and twist it harder. If you want to get people's attention and make them think different, go against conventional wisdom. If possible, refute conventional wisdom. Tell the reader they're wrong about something. Then tell them why.

2. Be accountable

Don't hide behind weak writing
and buzzwords. (I took this photo
in Nepal, by the way.)

Corporate-speak was invented so cowards could hide in a cloud of meaninglessness. Don't be a coward. Own your words. Write in first person. Saying "I" a lot in your blog posts does two things: First, it makes you mean what you say. Second, it tells the reader you mean what you say.

Use active voice. If you don't know what active voice is, read this excerpt by Stephen King, then read the book it came from.

Eliminate jargon and buzzwords if at all possible. You can use jargon and buzzwords as convenient shorthand for well accepted concepts (like "employee engagement"), but like cliches they carry no weight. They're like the coworker who comes to lunch with the group but always seems to leave his wallet at the office. What a drag.

3. Be brief

Omit needless words.

4. Use data wisely

Remember back in #1 when you told the reader he was all wrong? Then you had to tell him why? Data is your answer.

Strip down data to its simplest form and display it in a way the reader can understand in a glance. In my intro I mentioned my workplace giving campaign has been #1 in the country five years in a row. Data, simplified and cited with a link. I could also present it as a graph (see the graph).

Make data understandable and clear.

Use bullet or numbered lists to present your most compelling points. People skim text, but they pay attention to lists, so use them wisely.

You can use your own data, as in my post on employee engagement where I cited research from my own programs, or other people's data. As long as it's real, true, and compelling, use it. Your own data is exclusive, and it tells the reader you not only know the topic but you research it in new and interesting ways. Using other people's data tells the reader you're an expert on the topic, up to date on current research. Always give proper credit if you use someone else's data, though, and get permission if you need it.

Finally, always be true to the data. Don't cherry-pick facts to make a point that isn't really provable. Then you're just lying to the reader, and that's morally and ethically wrong. If you don't have facts to back up what you're saying, you shouldn't say it. You probably shouldn't even believe it.

5. Focus

Don't throw everything into your
post. Focus on the job at hand.

I've found that someone with something really interesting to say often has a lot of interesting things to say. But no one will listen if they try to say it all at once. Writer's block hits me hardest when I'm trying to fit too much into a small space. Focus in on a single point and argue the hell out of it.

6. Be arrogant

There's a fine line between confidence and arrogance; what you're looking for is the voice of authority in your writing. Everything above supports this. If you're brief, write in first person, use active voice, stay focused, and back it all up with data, people will believe you, right? Maybe. But they want to know that you believe you. If you can't write a first draft full of arrogance, then you can't revise it to a final draft that sounds filled with confidence. If you can't write a first draft filled with arrogance, then perhaps you need to rethink your whole concept.

---

Do you have other tips for writing a good post for a business blog? I'd love to hear them in the comments... or you can join me at the Charities @Work conference in New York City April 3-4 to talk about this or my next blog post on the Charities @Work blog. Or tweet me at @dudleypj.

Lipsticking - my thoughts on writing and publishing

I have admitted in the past that I subscribe to a blog called Lipsticking, though I do not read every post that shows up in my inbox.

Today, one of their authors published an interview I did for her a few months back, about my experience with writing and publishing. Everything in it is totally up to date except the "what I'm working on now." That says I am about 10,000 words into the third book in the New Eden series, but today I'm actually done with the rough draft of that book. Everything else I say? Timeless and classic wisdom.

You should check it out.

And you should subscribe to the Lipsticking blog. There are some pretty smart and eloquent ladies over there.

Go read the interview now!

Health can't be measured by a bathroom scale

About eight weeks ago I sprained my MCL, and I haven't been able to play soccer since. And ever since summer, I've skipped my early morning gym time, choosing instead to work on the third novel in my Semper - Forsada - To-be-titled series.

This means I haven't seriously exercised in a long, long time. But I know I'm still in great shape because the bathroom scale says I've only gained a pound or two in all those months. Right?

Actually, that's a pretty stupid conclusion. It would be like saying the economy is strong because the stock market is high.

Truth is, I am still reasonably fit, and if I only look at one indicator (the bathroom scale), then I think things are going great. But to judge my real health, I have to look at many other indicators and all the things that go into health--diet, activity, stress, etc. Same thing with the health of any complex system. I've blogged about this in my day job. You can't take one indicator, as important as it may be, and understand the full health of a complex system like a human body, a workforce, an educational system, a government, or an economy.

In the USA, we have a addiction to primary indicators. By that I mean we obsess over the one magical number we can use to grade everyone and everything. We see it in our obsession with the Dow Jones Industrial Average, which leads every business news report but really doesn't tell us very much about the health of the economy overall. We see it in standardized test scores like the SAT, which determines so much about a student's college admission but really doesn't test education or ability; it only grades whether the child has the prepared to take the SAT. We see it in consumption, where price alone drives so many of our purchases.

Take, for example, the omnipresent fast food "meal deal." Most places offer options to upsize your meal, and the price delta is minuscule compared to the base price. Pay $6 for the regular, $6.70 for the medium, or $7.15 for the large. Or, "add chips and a drink" for just two bucks. Notice they call it a "meal," not "the healthy addition."

The American psyche looks at that and quickly calculates that the price per increase is negligible compared to the initial buy-in. Virtually no thought is given to how hungry the person is; the only indicator that matters is price. So naturally, most people size up. Best decision? Probably not, even though it might seem to make economic sense to get a lot more of something for just a little extra spent.

Because that makes it really hard to keep the bathroom scale steady.

Empowering others to their own self-empowerment

Yesterday a friend pointed me to a link with seven awesome affirmations, reasons to "stop proving yourself to everyone else." There are great points there for everyone to remind themselves of from time to time, especially in the Internet era.

But as I read it, I thought about how these lists are like Twinkies for the psyche--good for the sugar rush and quick calories for one's confidence, but not enough to overcome true self esteem difficulties if the environment around you pushes you down all the time. It's easy to tell yourself to be who you really are, find your own path, own your happiness... but if those closest to you don't give you the space and support you need, you'll keep getting dragged down.

As a parent, youth coach, former scout leader, and manager in the workplace, I am constantly focusing on empowering others. I believe in all seven points in the article and use my own version of them to guide me in coaching, managing, raising my kids, talking with friends--everywhere I interact with people. Maybe that's just my positivity strength, but everyone is capable of being a force for empowerment.

With that in mind, here are seven points for those of us who want to empower others to grow, to accomplish all they can, to be happier, to suffer less stress.

1. Don't compare them to someone else.

Being compared to someone else sucks, especially if you're the one that falls short. Celebrating the abilities and accomplishments of others is wonderful, and we should do that. Saying that Susan's husband is a great cook, however, is different from saying, "I wish you could cook like Susan's husband." Being happy your son's friend got straight A's is different from saying, "I guess you're just not smart like he is."

We all have different talents, strengths, likes, and dislikes. The girl that can't spell might be a dynamite poet. The boy struggling in Chemistry might be a whiz at Physics. Instead of pointing out where you think they're falling short, focus on what they do well. Recognize their talents. Don't get mat at your kid if he'd rather socialize than bury his head in a book; chances are, the parents of the bookworm wish their kid would be more outgoing and social. Love them for who they are, acknowledge and understand their strengths, and guide them in a way that will help them harness those strengths.

2. Understand, then embrace, their dreams.

Popular culture is full of stories of parents forcing their kids into certain careers or molds. Sometimes it works out, but come on. If you were forced into a career you hated, how happy would you be?

People perform better and live happier if they can pursue what they love. What they love, not what you want them to love. Maybe you think you see them being successful in a particular path if they'd only commit themselves to it. But they never commit, even if they've tried it. Frustrating, right? Forget it. Their dreams are not about you. Their dreams are about them. They won't commit to your ideas because they're your ideas, not necessarily their ideas. Instead of trying to fit them into roles, help them figure out for themselves what they love. Then, embrace it. Support it.

3. Illuminate their path, but don't walk it for them

We all know the term "micromanage" as a bad word. For good reason. Not only does a micromanager frustrate the people they're controlling, but they're also creating stress and stifling growth. This is true both with leading teens and managing the workplace, where we strive to develop and grow talent while simultaneously accomplishing the work that needs to get done.

The manager's job is to set up the tasks, then provide the tools and materials for the worker to get the job done. Get out of the way and let them do it. Maybe they'll do it a different way from your way, and that's okay. If they seek help, give it. Shine a light on the path so they know where to go, but don't control every step of the way. People perform far better if you let them unleash their own creativity, and they take far greater pride when they know they've accomplished something on their own.

Micromanaging says I don't trust you to do it right. Handing them the keys and giving them a map says I know you can do it. Which is more empowering?

4. Make sure they stop looking up for a bit.

We're all under such pressure to reach a consumerism-defined version of "success." It's so easy to look at those who have more than we do and think we're not as successful as we should be. Nicer cars, bigger houses, brighter jewelry, fancier clothes. Don't feed that monster. It's just one more way that society makes us feel less than we are. If you think about it, advertising exists to make us think our life sucks, and to make us compare ourselves to some consumeristic ideal that, when you look at it, is all veneer and no structure.

If you know someone perpetually feeling stressed about their wealth or feeling inferior to those who have more things, help them stop looking up the economic ladder for a bit. Help them look down and see how high they really are. (With 1.6 billion people living without electricity, if they can read this blog post they're already in pretty good shape.) Then, go a step further and help them understand that they should not define themselves by the things they possess. And prove it by caring about them, not about their things. Be a good friend.

5. Be patient.

Not everyone develops at the same pace, so be patient. I see parents getting so frustrated with their children because things seem so much easier to adults than to kids. The kid has only 15 years of life experience instead of the 40 or 50 the parent has, after all. The kid isn't going to automatically know or be able to do things adults take for granted. It starts early, with new parents fretting that their baby isn't walking as early as those other babies... give it a rest. All kids grow up. Parenting is a constant exercise in seeing the world from the kid's perspective and helping them grow up. Same thing is true with adults. We are all growing and developing every day, facing new challenges and trying to learn new things. Don't get frustrated that they're not expert in everything right now.

6. Let them fall... but be ready with the first aid kit.

We've all seen the graphics going around the internet that success can't be reached by a straight path. Success is reached through a multitude of missteps, learning with each one. Parents and micromanagers have difficulty seeing their children and workers fail. It could be because they think the failure would reflect badly on them as the parent or manager. Or it could be that they don't want the task to go undone or be done incorrectly. Or, they might just be uncomfortable seeing their kid or worker feel bad at falling short of the goal.

But if you do everything for them, they'll never grow. They'll never feel the sting of losing or the elation of achievement because it will always be dampened by the knowledge that someone was there to fix it and make it all right. Sometimes, you have to be there to catch them before they get hurt. Other times, though, it's more important to stand by and watch, then pick them up and apply the first aid afterwards. Either way, you have to let go and allow them to grow. But let them know you're nearby.

7. Don't try to make it all about you.

It isn't about you. So don't try to make it about you. When they're telling you something, don't hijack their story and tell your own. When they're telling you what they want out of life, don't compare it to what you want out of life. When they're working out a problem, don't try to make them do it your way. So what if they want to load the silverware into the dishwasher upside-down? So what if they want to drive the back streets when you would take the highway? It's not about you, and you can't successfully make it about you. When you try, all you do is make people feel that you care only about yourself and don't care about them.

And maybe that's really the case. But it doesn't have to be.

Free kindle downloads this week - YA scifi and adventure, and why they're free

Free September 17-18
Get it here!

I don't promote my books much even though they are, in fact, awesome. I don't write for a living. I make my living raising hundreds of millions of dollars for charity. (Hey, it pays the bills. Don't judge me.)

So when I give my books away for free, it's not because I'm hoping to leverage some discoverability bump into a higher sales ranking. It's because I genuinely want people to read and enjoy them.

Why charge anything at all, you ask? Why not just post a PDF on my web site and make it always free for everyone all the time? Great question. I have two reasons, though others exist:

First, I have costs to recoup. Cover design was the biggest. Factor in my Starbucks and whiskey bills, and all the red pens I emptied in revisions, and pretty soon you're talking real money. (Especially the whiskey.) My day job pays me well, but not so well that budget be damned.

Free September 19-20
Get it here!

Second, I insist that my work has value. Even though I don't care much about the money, I do care deeply about the value. So I assign a price that I think reflects that value from the consumer's perspective. People then buy the book, or they don't. And, from time to time, I give it away without asking for any payment.

Some people and publishers think of free downloads as lost sales, or as a cost of marketing. Me? I look at them as donations to people who like to read good stories. I hope you will download these books and read them. And I really, really hope you enjoy them.

If you do, consider the value you received without needing to pay anything. And if you feel so inclined, head back to Amazon and/or Goodreads and give the book an honest rating. Because really, that's my secret reason for giving these away. Nothing makes me happier than a new rating.

I have more than 12,000 people NOT on my email list. You could be one of them!

Good thing I make my living in fundraising because I'm really bad at this book promotion thing.

I published Semper over a year ago, and with nearly 12,000 copies in circulation I am only now setting up a real email list. Maybe that's why Forsada (the sequel to Semper) has only 1,900 copies out in its fourth month.

See the entry form over there on the blog's right rail? You can sign up there.

When my list gets to 100 people, I'll give away a signed copy of Forsada to a random subscriber. Already have Forsada? I'll give you a signed copy of my next book if you prefer.

When my list gets to 500 people, I'll give away two more signed copies and a $25 gift card (either Amazon or Starbucks, your choice).

I'll give one additional entry into these drawings to anyone who tweets or posts this to facebook. Two additional entries for a Goodreads or Amazon rating. One more for a text review on Goodreads; one more for a text review on Amazon. If you blog your review, that's two more.

Please sign up. I don't send much email. And I'll never give out anyone's email address. I'll use it to announce new releases, appearances, and contests I have. I won't post blog updates; if you want to follow the blog, there's a feedburner over there as well.

Roundup of my #workplacegiving and #employee #volunteerism blogs

For some reason, people seem to want to know what I think. (No, not you, of course. I mean people in the business of workplace giving and volunteerism. My Day Job.)

I am fortunate to run the nation's largest workplace giving campaign (fourth year in a row with the top honor) and one of the nation's largest employee volunteer programs (over 1.5 million hours recorded by our employees in 2013). Much of the growth of these programs occurred on my watch, and I'll even take credit for some of it.

This year I've been honored with a few opportunities to tell people what I think about all this, what I've learned. And I think I came up with some good stuff. See for yourself.

Webinar
On April 17, I spoke on a webinar about workplace giving put on by the American Heart Association and American Cancer Society. Although the audio is faint and I sound like a frog, the content is actually really solid, from all three presenters. You can enjoy the recorded webinar and see for yourself. (No idea if it expires at some date.)

Blog Posts
As a member of the advisory council for the Charities @Work conference in both 2012 and 2013, I was asked to write a few blog posts about employee community involvement.

• Workplace Giving, Beyond the Numbers (March 29, 2012)
  Why it's important to go beyond the typical metrics of dollars raised and hours volunteered, and how you can actually measure the impact you're having on your corporate culture.
• Do recognition programs really incentivize employees to give or volunteer? How can we know? (March 7, 2013)
  Don't confuse incentive programs with recognition programs. No one is incentivized by recognition, though recognition is critical to success.
• What does it take to get managers on board to support employee volunteering? (March 21, 2013)
  In a big company, even with top level support and front line enthusiasm, a program can sputter without the buy-in of middle management. How do you get them on board?

And finally, I was credited with a blog post about the success of my programs on the Wells Fargo blog, though really I only edited what a communications guy composed for me. A lot like those quotes in press releases, I guess. (It's really weird being an author and having someone ghost write a blog post for you. On the one hand, I'm mortified that I didn't write it myself; on the other, it's pretty cool to be important enough that Corp Comm writes something with your name on it.)

And a little fun, too
One of the programs I manage, our volunteerism, has a pretty awesome brand. I have brought my Wells Fargo Volunteers water bottle to some pretty cool places. Like these:

Half Dome in Yosemite

Swayambhunath (the Monkey Temple) in Kathmandu

Looking at Machhapuchhre, the "holy mountain" in the Annapurna range in Nepal

Being in charge is not the same as being a leader. Don't be a jerk. k thx (blog post)

I haven't worked on my novel in a month because I've spent all my discretionary non-family time on work. It's been a busy, frustrating period in my job for a number of reasons. My backlog is building every day. I haven't been able to make time to exercise or play soccer. It's been that kind of two-month period. (I know, I know... poor me. The awful problems of a white male upper middle class executive. Just bear with me, okay?)

Last Friday I vowed to reclaim some personal time starting this morning. I believe people can't be effective at work if they aren't balanced in their life--physically, emotionally, and intellectually. Even so, I worked several hours over the weekend to meet a deadline.

Then this morning I received an email that was so disrespectful to me, my team, and our product that I just can't let it go. It came from a senior "leader." He had a good point or two buried among the insulting language, and we'll work with those as we plan future product improvements. But that doesn't excuse the disrespectful language.

This has me incensed for two reasons. First, I do take it personally. How can I not? I'm a professional and will use the actual feedback he provided, but I'm also an individual who deserves to be treated professionally and with respect. That is, I'm a person with feelings. So yeah, it hurts and makes me mad.

Second, I am sick and tired of people who use aggressive language and bullying to get their way. The email I received isn't abusive per se, but it's one of those "if you disagree then you're just as stupid as they are" tones.

I am not an easily bullied person. I once lost a job because I refused to fire a good employee; my boss needed someone to take the fall for his mistakes... when I refused, my boss decided to fire us both. I lost my job, but I kept my integrity. I would do the same thing again. I'm no rebel, but I also won't cowtow to petulance and disrespect just because that person holds a powerful position.

People, say it with me:

BEING IN CHARGE IS NOT THE SAME AS BEING A LEADER.

You can often get people to do what you want in the short term by being a jerk. But I believe that you get far more from people by respecting them, supporting them, and giving them room to challenge themselves. Frequently they will outperform your expectations.

About the boss that wanted his underlings to take the fall for his mistakes... that startup company was out of business a year later. I'm sure there's a lesson in there somewhere.

Peter's awesome spectacular very cool year (performed in blogs and photos)

If you're sick of everyone else's "here's how my 2012 went" posts, you can just skip this one. But if that's the case, what are you doing reading blogs in the first place?

My 2012 was a pretty awesome year. Come bask in the glow of my self-satisfaction.

The awesomeness began in January when I published Semper all by myself. (With the help of CreateSpace and KDP and Aerin and Phoenix.) I really didn't know what I was doing, but boy was I having fun. I made a little money in 2012 with Semper (enough to pay my Starbucks bill while I wrote the sequel), and including freebies the book was downloaded over 10,000 times in 2012.

February got even better despite car trouble. I volunteered for the fifth year in a row at the San Francisco Writers Conference and met some great people and reconnected with fabulous publishing industry folks and writers I'd met before. But the most awesome part of February was a weekend retreat at the Sanctuary spa in the Phoenix area Maria and I attended for work. My work is all about corporate philanthropy, and I represented my company at this event called Escape For Good because my boss was busy and couldn't go. Got to hang with celebrity athletes (all of whom are very community minded) for the weekend and talk philanthropy and community involvement with Athletes for Hope and U Give. Among the highlights: Dinner with Mia Hamm and Julie Foudy, Muhammed Ali's 70th birthday party emceed by Johnny Bench, hearing about Andre Agassi's work with underprivileged youth in Las Vegas, an awesome wine tasting, a swell mixology class, getting called an "old guy" by Lance Armstrong, chatting with Tom Jackson, a fun "Iron Chef" competition where Maria cooked with Annika Sorenstam and chef Julian Serrano, and meeting new friends and business contacts. Memories:

Lunch on the patio.

"The Cowboy" from 2012 American Idol. Better than I expected.

Me & Tony watching the chefs at work.

Lance, Maria, and some old guy.

Me and my new BFF.

I know, right? I actually made some business contacts and had a few followup meetings from the event (not with any athletes, sadly). Still working on some ideas with some of those folks.

March came in not so much like a lion but more like a deep breath between hurricanes of awesomeness. It saw my cousin Cassie's wedding, a skiing day with the boy scout troop, and a good corporate citizenship conference in Phoenix. I started in earnest writing Forsada, the sequel to Semper, and I watched actual sales of Sember grow slowly but steadily. (Think frozen molasses flowing uphill.)

April, though... wow, April. I started with a trip to New York for the Charities @Work conference (I'm on the advisory council), followed immediately by a flight to Kathmandu, Nepal. When we got back, Maria had a girls weekend in Denver, then I went on business trips to Las Vegas and Charlotte. All in April. A brief recap of the Nepal trip (the actual blog posts have all the photos):

• Day one: 32 hours to Kathmandu, some shopping and a fantastic dinner, plus a neat hotel
• Day two: Kathmandu historical tour, rough roads, and cows sleeping in the streets
• Day three: A jungle, rhinos, WE RODE AN ELEPHANT, and a twin otter
• Day four: Bathing the elephants, rowboating for crocodiles, and spiders
• Day five: Nepal countryside, insane bus drivers, a near-death experience
• Day six: The most stunning view in the world (perhaps)
• Day seven: Day hike through rural Nepal

Some of my favorite pictures from the trip:

Flying flags at the Monkey Temple

The patio where we took tea and ate breakfast

Crazy bus drivers, crazy bus passengers

Believe it or not, Rhino, we do see you.

In May I had some big work wins. Specifically, my volunteer program won a Summit Award from United Way Worldwide (a big honor), and my workplace giving campaign was named #1 in the country for the third year in a row. Pretty big honors for me and my team at work, who are the most awesome and fabulous crew ever. We get some pretty big results. In May I also was sworn in to the Workforce Investment San Francisco board. And I also did my first ever author reading from Semper.

June smacked me in the head with my 45th birthday, which I spent at boy scout camp. Bigger news was Beth and Chris' wedding on a day that climbed well past 107 degrees.

In July, Ethan turned 16 while we were on family vacation in Washington, DC. Our whole trip the temperature never fell below 143 degrees, or so it seemed. Still, we had fun visiting all kinds of museums and hanging out with bro Mark and sis-in-law Maria. My favorites: July 4th fireworks on the Mall, Newseum, the Supreme Court, Mark's lab at NIH, and the Library of Congress.

At the time, this house was still up for grabs.

Ash and paper fell on us. It was awesome.

LOC. One of the coolest places on Earth.

Brother Mark in his natural habitat. Cures cancer, he does.

Supreme Court.

Still in July, I did business trips to Phoenix (yes, again!), Portland, and Seattle. And in the middle of all that we drove to Mammoth Lakes to meet my mom for a long weekend. We took the tram to the top of Mammoth Mountain but only hiked around a few minutes because it was dog-cold and wicked windy, and the staff said that lightning was seen within ten miles, so we had to get down the hill quick.

Ruler of all I survey. Take THAT, Yertle.

August was a month for staying home. First, my dad and stepmom visited for a week from the east coast, and we did a whole bunch of fun things. Then, I gave up our four nights at a Tahoe timeshare because (a) someone bailed on the plans we'd made earlier in the year, and (b) I had to coach a soccer tournament. But that doesn't mean I'm not bitter about (a).

In September, Ethan got his driver's license, and I went on business trips to Minneapolis and St. Louis. Ethan started 10th grade and Sam moved up into 7th. We ran our employee giving campaign as we do every year at work, this time kicking butt once more and pretty much locking up a fourth #1 year in a row. Plus, I helped judge the Lascaux Flash contest.

October took me to Denver and Colorado Springs for work, and I finished Forsada and sent the manuscript out to beta readers for the first time. I also injured my knee playing soccer. It's not too bad, but I really shouldn't play on it for a few more months. We saw some America's Cup racing and the Blue Angels, and the F-22 was an incredible sight.

I did, in fact, take this picture.

In November I won NaNoWriMo for the fifth time, with a new story that I may finish in 2014 after I write the third book of the New Eden series. I collected feedback on Forsada and completed my first revisions. Over Thanksgiving the family visited my nephew in Portland, shortly after he moved there. We had Voodoo doughnuts and visited the Japanese and Chinese gardens as well as the Mercy Corps headquarters and the Saturday Market. I am getting to like Portland a lot. Wendy Russ produced covers for me for Semper and Forsada, and I relaunched Semper with the new cover.

December was another stay-at-home month, after one business trip to Los Angeles. I got the proof copies of Forsada and had some revisions, so I'm waiting for the final copy to arrive. It will be published January 13, so be sure to go get it then and then review it on Amazon or Goodreads. My mom came to visit over Christmas, then the boys drove back to Las Vegas with her. They came back last night as unaccompanied minors on Southwest, their first time flying alone.

Tonight we're having a New Year's Eve party. I can't imagine 2013 being nearly as good a year as 2012 was, but I seem to remember saying something similar at this time a year ago.

May your 2013 be the best year ever for you.

Why I'm only giving advice on #GivingTuesday (blog)

I had never heard of #GivingTuesday until late in the day.

Keep in mind that my day job is helping people give money to charity. I enable giving. I encourage it. I spend a large portion of the professional me figuring out how to ask people to give. And, by most measures, I'm pretty good at it. (That is, if you consider raising $60 million, recording 1.5 million volunteer hours, and being ranked #1 in the country three years in a row a decent set of metrics.)

So hearing about #GivingTuesday for the first time after it was almost over was a little surprising.

And to be honest, I've had a very hard time getting revved up about it.

Maybe I'm just too cynical about Black Friday and Cyber Monday to give a flying meme about #GivingTuesday.

Or maybe Black Friday and Cyber Monday are just so oozy with the septic puss of unbridled consumerism that #GivingTuesday feels like an overreaction. Like naming the Saturday after Thanksgiving "Fitness Saturday"... the day you try to make up for the fourteen pounds of pumpkin pie you ate two days before. You feel guilty about your overindulgence.

Or perhaps the whole thing feels just a little too self-righteous. Like those parents who don't let their kids watch TV or play video games and only let them listen to NPR. "It's wonderful you let your four-year-old son play Call of Duty," they say. "Here, I'm not using this Beethoven for Toddlers CD any more. Maybe share it with your son," they say. They are disgusted by your overindulgence.

You need to give to charity on Tuesday because you just gorged yourself on consumerism, presumably maxing out your credit cards in the process. This is healthy... how?

Mostly, though, it just feels irrelevant. Or desperate. Like that forgettable guy you had your first date with last night who leaves nineteen messages on your machine the next day before noon, every one of which ends with, "Yeah, okay, so maybe give me a call some time. You know. If you want to. You don't have to. Just if you want to. Okay? So okay. Um, bye."

Browsing the Twitter feed for #GivingTuesday did not inspire me. It did not educate me. It did not make me want to continue reading the Twitter feed for #GivingTuesday. It did get me to click over to the web site once due to professional curiosity. The feed seemed to be filled with three types of tweets (my very unscientific vague impressions):

• "Hey, I'm participating in #GivingTuesday!"
  Translation: I am tweeting but may or may not be giving any actual money. I am (a) appeasing my inner slactivist, (b) trying to look cool, or (c) hoping someone else will also give to my favorite charity.
• "Hey, we're a charity! It's #GivingTuesday! Give us something!"
  Translation: Hey! We're a charity! We are desperate! We will take anything, even slightly used tweets!
• "Top story of the day: #GivingTuesday!"
  Translation: I work in a charity-related job and all my colleagues will think that I'm well informed for tweeting this hashtag.

I'm really not this cynical about most things. Really. Ask anyone who knows me well.

On the other hand, I know #GivingTuesday will do some good. The #1 reason people don't give to charity is because no one ever asked them to. #GivingTuesday is that first ask for many people. And the best way to generate a positive cycle of giving is to get people talking with their friends and colleagues about their charity in an authentic, personal way. Also, exposure for nonprofits--especially when people are feeling guilty about overindulgence and generous due to the holidays--is not a bad thing.

I hope someone does some serious scientific statistical study about the real effects of #GivingTuesday. I would love to know if nonprofits saw a spike in web traffic, a spike in one-time donations, a rising tide of engagement, a lasting increase in their donor rolls.

For my part, I did not give anything on #GivingTuesday. I plan out my philanthropy as part of my family's annual budget, and I give to many causes mostly through automatic deductions from my paychecks.

#GivingTuesday is like the Twinkie of charity. Nonprofits and donors love that sweet, immediate rush. But you can't live on it for long. Nonprofits need sustained, rich relationships with donors who understand and appreciate the work their donations fund. If #GivingTuesday is an entree to a more healthy, sustainable relationship between nonprofits and donors, terrific. But if it's simply an instant gratification moment to capitalize on the tacky "special day" feel of Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and Cyber Monday, then I hope it disappears as quickly as it flashed into being.

Why I'm voting absentee, and busting elitist prejudice

(Playing along for the first time ever with Road Trip Wednesday at YA Highway)

I voted absentee four years ago because I expected to be traveling for work. This year, it's a different reason:

NaNoWriMo!

(cue gasp)

What, you are screaming to yourself right now, is a talented and experienced author like Peter doing slumming around with the amateur word-count hacks in NaNoland?

My friends, drop your academic literary elitist prejudice for a moment and join me on a journey. It's a journey of a young man who strayed from his passion, who followed the siren songs of family, prosperity, and homeownership. It's a story of despair and triumph. But most of all, it's my story.

Turn the Wayback Machine to 1987. Picture a college apartment with an Apple ][+ in the corner surrounded by spent packets of Top Ramen and empty Coke cans. Next to the 21-pin dot matrix printer sits the first 80 or so pages, on continuous-feed computer paper, of a 20-year-old young man's first novel manuscript. On top of that sits the young man's first rejection note, a form rejection from the fiction editor at Redbook magazine with "good work, please send more in the future" scribbled in black pen.

Set the dial two years ahead. The young man is flush from his first publication success, a dual contest win for short fiction and poetry in his Engineering school's annual literary publication. His mother, visiting for graduation, makes him pose with the check he won.

The young man graduated and took his engineering degree to Seattle for his first job. His sweetheart still had one year of college, so he spent his evenings at his electric typewriter, alone in a dim economy apartment kitchen, working on short stories and a new novel. (That first one he unceremoniously stowed away in a box somewhere.)

A year later, that new manuscript was left off after chapter four, and that sweetheart had become his wife. He moved back to Berkeley for a different job, a better job, with high hopes for his career. At 26 he and his bride bought a home. His career managing a technical publications department at a software company was exciting and dynamic. And he hadn't written any fiction in months.

Five years later, the demands of two children and a larger home and a bigger job kept him far from the joy of writing. He was important now, an up-and-comer, a father, a husband, a homeowner. What little extra time he had, he spent keeping children safe as a school crossing guard.

When he turned 35, he knew he had strayed from his dream. He had no regrets, but he wasn't sure how to get back on that path that he had loved so much. He dabbled with poetry again, bought a blank journal and filled it with a lame-ass story he would never show to anyone today in a million years. He started another novel, got to chapter three, and decided it was crap and not worth finishing.

By now, you've figured out that I, I was that young man. A sad story. The story of millions of people; the story of a single soul. It could have ended there.

But a magical thing happened. November came. November 2004, specifically.

I discovered a thing called National Novel Writing Month. A few thousand people were involved. I could do that, I thought. And I did. It was hard. I started with only a vague idea of character and setting, and the plot unfolded as I wrote. By December I had 50,000 words. By February I had a completed manuscript at 69,000 words. I had done it. It wasn't great, but it wasn't awful.

Most of all, I knew I could do it again. Better.

And I did. The next three years I completed novels in November, each one progressively more accomplished, more polished, more complete than the ones before. I learned to avoid plot holes, to study and refine character motivation, to wipe out -ly words. Like Batman, I had my daytime persona--husband, father, laborer, homeowner--but my secret identity as a writer began taking over my psyche bit by bit.

All told, I completed four NaNoWriMo manuscripts. I haven't published any of those, but I did go on to publish my fifth novel, Semper, which was not a NaNo book. Today, I'm on the verge of publishing its sequel.

Might that have happened without the magic of NaNo? There's no way to know for sure.

But this year I'll be jumping back into that frenzied rush of adrenaline and caffeine to start a new project. Because I've been to the mountaintop, I know what it takes to succeed. And I'll be prepared. Oh, I'll be prepared. Words will tumble out like Halloween candy from a bowl with a note on it saying "please take only one," and analogies will thicken the prose in the way that peanut butter sticks to the roof of a dog's mouth. And cliches will wallow like pigs and soar like eagles while metaphors mix like dead horses being beaten. And in the end, when all is said and done, when all is done and said... things will have been written.

This didn't have to be my story. It could be the story of any number of people. Six, for example. Or ninety-one. That doesn't really matter. What matters is that NaNoWriMo picked me up, dusted me off, and told me, "You can do this, mister. Never forget who you are and where you came from. Now get up, get back on that horse, and write."

And that's what I intend to do. Just as soon as I finish this game of Words With Friends and respond to this guy's political rant on Facebook.