December 30, 2012

handy head massager, and WTF is that German?

Free cookies and cider!
On Christmas Eve, we took the day and wandered San Francisco. Many of the hotels sported awesome gingerbread houses. The Fairmont built an enormous gingerbread entry foyer for their tea room. The St. Francis had a twelve foot tall castle made of sugar that was glorious. The Mark Hopkins had a modest but lovely gingerbread house along with free cider and cookies.

We also got to see fifteen minutes of the Grace Cathedral Christmas pageant with tons of little kids in costume and some fine singing. And we walked the Grace outdoor labyrinth. Very serene, except for the toddlers throwing tantrums and the parents ardently trying to shush them.

After lunch at the San Francisco Center (too crowded, and the Thai place had a curry that smelled like burning latex), we strolled Chinatown because the boys wanted to get some fireworks for New Year's. It's impossible to stroll Chinatown without browsing the junk stores. My mom bought a tiny lucky cat statue (half inch tall, about fifty cents). But we all got terribly excited when we discovered...

the Handy Head Massager.

Made in China. What a surprise!
We actually got to try this thing out in the store before buying. And at 99 cents, it's almost worth the price. Here's the actual device:

So easy it doesn't need instructions!
All you do is rub it down your head. It sort of scratches but mostly tickles. I haven't tried it on the cat yet, but I'm betting that will be fun. Let me get out my first aid kit, though.

Even better is the box it came in. Turn it over, and it has this picture and caption on the side:

"The smooth tips glid across the surface of your scalp,sending sparkling sensarions thru your entire body."
Doesn't she look gleeful and unstressed? Yes, if you purchase this device, you too can share it with your bathing beauty bombshell. She will deeply appreciate the ability to scratch her head with thin, flimsy wires. So much better than other "smooth tips" for sending sensarions thru her entire body.

But wait... WTF. Is that German? Let's see...

BDAUNT AUS DER TU WERLUNQ

Well, Google Translate thinks it might be German. Or Romanian. But it basically translates into English as

BDAUNT FROM TU WERLUNQ

Ah, that was helpful.

Oh, but next to this is the German instruction, which begins "Hier verbindet sich jahrtausend alte Tradition der Aborigines mit moderner Technik des ausgehended zwanzigsten Jahrhunderts!" (According to Google Translate, this means "Here, ancient tradition of Aboriginal combines with modern technology of the late twentieth century ended!") So I suppose it is German. Sort of.

This thing only cost 99 cents, and the amusement it's brought us is worth almost twice that.

4 comments:

Sylvia said...

oookay

the headline bit is just a mess. Maybe it is some other language but I sorta suspect it was someone copying text they couldn't read from somewhere else and the result is three layers deep of Chinese whispers. At least, I hope so.



Oh, but next to this is the German instruction, which begins "Hier verbindet sich jahrtausend alte Tradition der Aborigines mit moderner Technik des ausgehended zwanzigsten Jahrhunderts!"

This is German! And Google Translate has a fair go at it but it's a bit heavy handed.

Here's my version:

In this item, Aborigine tradition from thousands of years ago combines with modern technology from the end of the twentieth century.


Peter Dudley said...

I hope so, too. And thanks for the less heavy handed German translation.

Darlene Ruiz said...

My husband bought one several years ago when his parents were in town, doing some touristy shopping. Now I know where he got it.

Peter Dudley said...

Darlene, I hope he got his money's worth out of it. I know I certainly have gotten my 99 cents' worth out of ours!