tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014482.post1334185331286847753..comments2023-09-29T03:15:20.697-07:00Comments on Corner Kick: train out of sacramentoPJDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014482.post-28373062951700301142009-10-14T03:41:04.567-07:002009-10-14T03:41:04.567-07:00Haven't been here for a while...stopping over ...Haven't been here for a while...stopping over to say hi. <br />Evocative imagery!Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16732006129353079344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014482.post-91469244424068277972009-10-12T22:47:19.314-07:002009-10-12T22:47:19.314-07:00This has a ring similar to the ones you try out at...This has a ring similar to the ones you try out at your other blog. I love the way you use simple words and common images and rearrange them into a interesting story. And on top of that you tell it in poetic style! <br /><br />I wish I could do that...Aniket Thakkarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18311954967682696734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014482.post-21763952778869394812009-10-12T21:27:28.303-07:002009-10-12T21:27:28.303-07:00I was curious how different the poem is with diffe...I was curious how different the poem is with different length lines but the same words. Since there isn't a meter, I thought to rearrange. Let's see:<br /><br />silhouette ridge carving black under a gray-fire sky<br />as ghostly steeples float by and anchorless lights<br />belie the emptiness<br /><br />a white man with a black cell phone talks in gospel lyrics,<br />and a boy hunches over a cardboard tray,<br />his fork pumping food with the zeal of hobos<br />and college students<br /><br />his blue earplugs deny the gospel and exile the haunting wails<br />of the train's whistle<br /><br />Hmmm.... not sure what the effect is. My guess is that you would have written the poem differently with longer lines such as this.<br /><br />Just playing....pacatruehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04125048243775811714noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014482.post-51812230077264261632009-10-12T20:44:49.883-07:002009-10-12T20:44:49.883-07:00I'm guessing "the emptiness" is Arco...I'm guessing "the emptiness" is Arco Arena?Blogless Trollhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03983848259551488867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014482.post-23276879564425175332009-10-12T09:16:30.699-07:002009-10-12T09:16:30.699-07:00Good to read something other than Haiku from you.Good to read something other than Haiku from you.gautami tripathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04192356825699543613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014482.post-76288526784286919892009-10-11T04:35:04.779-07:002009-10-11T04:35:04.779-07:00I love it Pete. There's something lovely abou...I love it Pete. There's something lovely about a leisurely train journey (not the underground bunfights that you get in Metro areas). It's a wonderful time for people watching and dreaming. Your journey from Sacramento had an almost spiritual quality. It's a beautiful thin -living in the moment.JaneyVhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04951739945670483199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014482.post-72162438984270603862009-10-09T13:10:12.830-07:002009-10-09T13:10:12.830-07:00Such haunting imagery... loved the little details ...Such haunting imagery... loved the little details - the blue earplugs, a cardboard tray, ghostly steeples floating by...<br /><br />What a talent!Bellehttp://shadowplay1.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014482.post-39570922667934439182009-10-08T21:14:54.973-07:002009-10-08T21:14:54.973-07:00you make Sacramento sound even better than it is.....you make Sacramento sound even better than it is... :)bluesugarpoethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14775769108087898456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014482.post-51256739674299071652009-10-08T20:35:28.021-07:002009-10-08T20:35:28.021-07:00Just beautiful. This is absolutely lovely, PJD.Just beautiful. This is absolutely lovely, PJD.jjdebenedictishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16950592240599703771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8014482.post-82391042082453423592009-10-08T20:11:14.489-07:002009-10-08T20:11:14.489-07:00Hi pjd,
Liked your "unlucky 26", been re...Hi pjd,<br />Liked your "unlucky 26", been reading 1-2 at a time, so haven't covered all.<br /><br />Here in this write i discover new words along with wonderful capture of life in motion.<br /><br />Also, many thanks for allowing me to read here.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com