February 4, 2009

haiku wednesday - February 4, 2009

This week's words are
crumple
illicit
nerve

I can't believe I haven't posted since last Wednesday. I had some real trouble with this week's words. I think it's because I'm a purist and try to use the words in the form they're presented, without changing them (e.g., nerves, crumpled, etc.)

crumple note--the nerve!
illicit activity?
no, my dog did NOT!

they crumple in death
bullets end illicit plan
each nerve blood-pricked, raw

shot numbs oral nerve
illicit dentist chair games
rinse, spit, crumple cup
at

13 comments:

  1. anthonynorthFebruary 04, 2009 2:30 PM

    Nicely done, even the horror at the end - I hate dentists.

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  2. Tumblewords:February 04, 2009 3:55 PM

    Sometimes I yearn for a little purist-ism! You always convey full stories in your haiku - the third one is bloody real and the second, too.

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  3. floretaFebruary 04, 2009 4:20 PM

    i don't like the be reminded about dentists. interesting that i see a lot of interpretation of crumpled note/paper/letter etc.

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  4. susanFebruary 04, 2009 4:41 PM

    innocent dog? HILARIOUS! Thanks.

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  5. LucyFebruary 04, 2009 4:48 PM

    great haikus! the dentist!! was it inspired by my dentist poem from last week? haha great job!

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  6. Thom GabrukiewiczFebruary 04, 2009 5:39 PM

    And you've done justice to the words provided. In fact, went above and beyond. I got a note on my car this summer from a person in my townhouse complex who couldn't talk to me face-to-face about how I scold my dogs, so the first one hit home (I peed on her doorstep - I KID!)

    And as a side-note, thanks for getting Chris involved; he's just what the prompt needs - honest reads.

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  7. Robin B.February 04, 2009 5:48 PM

    Good ones, Pete! (OK, yeah, I picked one. I love #2.)

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  8. Sepiru ChrisFebruary 04, 2009 7:48 PM

    Hi PJD,

    You brought me in via your comments on OxyJen's site (EstraJen? Priceless.)

    First and third are my favourites. The crumpled paper is the easy out, but you turn it around and meta-blame the dog by making the haiku about him.

    That, I really like.

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  9. gautami tripathyFebruary 05, 2009 3:46 AM

    I liked the second one. Raw...

    dancing verses

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  10. M as in MintFebruary 05, 2009 6:32 AM

    Love the variety & the tones!


    Scary Story

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  11. Sherri B.February 05, 2009 6:39 AM

    These were very good...the dentist one made me shudder! I loved the dog one, too...lol. :~)

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  12. bluesugarpoetFebruary 06, 2009 7:38 PM

    for someone who had trouble with these words, you cranked out some hot haikus.

    when you say "illicit dentist chair games," are you referencing the dentist near here that "massaged" his female patients in order to help them relax their jaws?

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  13. JR's ThumbprintsFebruary 06, 2009 7:47 PM

    I like the third haiku best. Can almost hear the paper cup being crumpled.

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